Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-02-29 07:57:49 (UTC)

Tangled Up In My Emotions

Even though I didn't sleep as well as I could have, I didn't wake up feeling too terrible this morning. The perpetual feelings of doom and gloom weren't there. For once. It's nice not feeling like the world is about to fall down around you first thing in the morning. I would love to understand why I feel that way sometimes. I think pretty much everything links back to depression. In some way, shape, or form.

I got a lovely surprise when I got to work today. Allison neglected to tell me I was doing bra certification for a couple of associates who called out of our last class. I can basically do a bra certification class in my sleep, so there was no issue with not knowing I was doing it in advance. Unfortunately, there were dozens of distractions in the back room, and my students kept getting pulled to the floor to cashier, so I don't think it was quite as educational as it could have/should have been. But they aren't going to be on the floor very much anyway. One was a male (who can't do fittings, anyway) and the other was a cashier/brand guide/merch flow associate. She's occasionally on the floor during high velocity times, but not really ever in the fitting rooms. We got it done, despite distractions.

Since yesterday was the last day of the fiscal month, I checked Blueday to see where my numbers fell for the month... and I did it! I ended at exactly 300.0! Even though I only needed to reach 220.0 to start collecting incentive, I expect no less than 300.0 from myself. Even though I say I don't care. I do. I want to do well. Since I was in training today, it didn't matter really if I sold anything or not, but I made sure to sell enough to cover the returns I took in. So, this month isn't starting out in the hole. I'm going to do better this month. If now isn't the time to find a new job, then I need to put my all into it. Maybe not get so emotionally involved, but I need to walk out everyday knowing that I did my best. I can't say that everyday. Sometimes I'm too tangled up in my emotions to just do my job to the best of my abilities. I can always work on that.

This isn't usually a problem for me, but today I was plagued by the worst cramps. I don't usually have menstrual cramps. The first day or two I might have a few twinges of lower abdominal pain, but not really cramps. They got pretty intense the last couple hours I was at work. I met Snookums an the kids at Red Robin for dinner, and they persisted through that too. I stopped at Central Market on my way home and picked up some Lemongrass-Lavender bath tea to soak in. Lavender is supposed to help with cramps, and a warm bath is never a bad idea. I added Epsom salt, too. I soaked for an hour or so, and it's better than before, but now my back is killing me. I guess I'll take a few hits and maybe crank up the heating pad. Being a woman is hard sometimes.




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