Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-02-24 06:44:13 (UTC)

The Regret of Wasting A Day

The sadness won today. I wanted to get up and go on a little hike (because the weather was beautiful, and that's rare this time of year), but I just couldn't. I tried four times, but depression won. I'd make it to the bathroom, or the closet, but the idea of picking out clothes, or brushing my hair felt like the most monumental task. Like, I couldn't do it without help. When I have to get dressed for work, there's motivation there because I know there's consequences to not getting to work. There are no consequences for not living my life otherwise. Just the regret of wasting a day.

I did finally make it out of bed. Not because I wanted to, but for Snookums. For the past few days his ears have really been bothering him. So, he went to see Dr. Power about it. I figured he had an ear infection (or maybe a double ear infection since both ears were starting to bother him). It's basically impacted ear wax, with one ear becoming inflamed. The doctor prescribed him Neomycin drops, but Snookums needed to go to class tonight (he had a test) and wouldn't be out in time to pick up his med from the Target pharmacy before they closed. I love my husband and don't want him in pain. So that was my motivation.

Since I was dragging myself out of bed to run a quick errand, I figured I might as well go to the gym, too. So, I picked up the ear drops, then went to the gym. I wasn't feeling it. I did the weight machine circuit, so it wasn't a total waste. I got a little burn going. I just didn't feel up to doing the full routine. Cardio, stretching, weights, etc. Something is better than nothing, and I'm seeing huge changes in my body. I'm responding amazingly to the high raw diet I'm following. I have yet to do any research on the raw till 4 way of life, I'm just eating raw until 4 and then eating whatever (vegan) food I want after that. Today it was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a can of olives, two cups of steamed broccoli, two cups of sautéed greens, and after I finish writing this, two mangos. I had my usual smoothie for breakfast. Overall, dietary, I'm feeling great. I think the aggravation of my depression is hormonal. My period is due any day now.

I open tomorrow, and I'm trying to be positive about it. It'll be a good day. It's only a bad day if I go into it thinking that way. I'm going to get a good night's sleep, I'm going to wake up on time, I'm going to leave the house with time to stop for coffee, and I'm going to be fine. It'll be a smooth day. And on that note, I'm going to close for the night and go eat my mangos.




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