Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-02-20 09:29:45 (UTC)

Bye Felicia

From the moment I woke up, until this moment, I've had several "I'm so happy right now" realizations. Honestly, I don't understand how I'm really feeling. Happiness primarily, but there's also a sensitivity (like I'm on the verge of tears), and a strong desire to stare off into space. But mostly I'm happy, and since that's something very illusive in my life, I fully intend to hold on to it.

I went back to the imagining center I got my MRI done at to pick up a CD of my scan. I need to take it with me to my appointment on Monday. I really wanted to watch it, but it's not compatible with our DVD player, and we don't have the necessary software on any of our computers. Not surprising, they aren't sophisticated health care computers. We could still look at the still shots, though. It was cool, but I can't say for sure I knew what I was looking at.

I went to Target specifically to buy straw lids for my mason jars. I love taking my smoothies to work, and my quart sized mason jars are the perfect size. The straw lid makes them a little more portable, instead of the wide open mouth. While I was there I encountered a mother with her two small children. She was incredibly agitated, trying to speak with the pharmacy tech while her kids wreaked havoc on the health and beauty aisles. I felt a twinge of judgment (because my kids never would have acted like that) and a bit of sympathy too. She was so frazzled, and they were being so wild. I almost wanted to help her out, but that would have been weird. The kicker was, as she turned to leave, her toddler daughter didn't see her go down the next aisle and started to freak. Her response? "Bye Felicia, get lost then. See if I care!" It's not something I would have ever said, but if the kids acted like they were acting all the time, I can imagine her frustration. It was a lesson in compassion for me. Instead of being instantly judgmental, I challenged myself to see things from the mother's perspective. Some kids are a handful. They test boundaries and push parents to their limits. It's not inherently the child's fault, but that doesn't make it any easier.

I finally dragged myself into the gym! Well, I didn't have to drag myself. I wanted to go. My method is working. I upped my weights today, which makes me very proud. Slow and steady is working. I can feel the changes in my body, and I'm feeling leaner and stronger. There's no need to starve myself like I used to, or spend hours at the gym. It's growth on my part, being able to not obsess about getting thin. I just want to be a healthy weight, and reasonably fit. I don't need to be skinny. While I was there I ran into Kerry. It was nice seeing her, and seeing that she took my suggestion and signed up for a free trial membership. If she joins, I'll get another free month (I get one for referring Ruth, as well). I'm very happy with Snap. It's small and intimate. Everything I need.

I had an interesting argument with a "friend" on Facebook this evening. More than anything, I'm impressed with how cool I stayed throughout the entire incident. I didn't get overly emotional, I didn't internalize her misunderstanding of me or my position, I didn't lash out or throw insults. Not even once. We had a mature debate for a minute, until she became unhinged. It started with a video I posted of a student explaining to her white, male teacher that racism doesn't affect white people like it does minorities. In the instance of this video, black people. White people are not systemically oppressed and can't understand what it's like to live in a world that's aligned with the supremacy of white individuals, without the benefit of being white themselves. Racism is a subtle undercurrent at best, but more like an overt reality. Her first argument was that Jewish people are white and they're oppressed. I explained that racially Jewish individuals are of Middle Eastern decent (in particular Israeli descent) and while many do appear white (as do many people of many other ethnic backgrounds), as a whole Jewish folks are a marginalized minority. She didn't have anything to say about that. Instead she went on to say that plenty of people experience hate. Which is true, but since we were talking about racism I calmly explained the differences between racism, discrimination, and prejudice. Since racism is rooted in systemic oppression, and at no point in American history has being white ever been a detriment (as a whole, in any regard), white people are not the victim of racism. They can be and often are discriminated against. But it's just not the same. I went further into the fact that even if she didn't agree, it's my right as a black person to support my culture and align with my struggle. That doesn't minimize my empathy or support for other cultures and oppressed individuals. They aren't mutually exclusive. I'm wholly intersectional. And that would be where she lost it. She basically said that because I wasn't born a slave I have no idea what racism is really like, and that I crossed the line supporting my culture, not acknowledging the white struggle (what?) and I don't know how racism affects white people because I'm not white. I stopped reading at that point and just unfriended and blocked. She had no more valid points to make, and the post effectively weeded out a bigot. I hope she looks back on it and realizes her bigotry, but I doubt it. I'm sure she had some colorful things to say about me to her friends. Whatever. She's no loss to me. All we have in common is veganism, and I'm pretty sure this was the first real interaction we've had since she friend requested me. Bye Felicia.




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