Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-02-12 09:03:50 (UTC)

A Different Kind of Suffering

I have nothing much to say about today, because I succumbed to the heavy weight keeping me down. I can't really say what exactly is going on. Mentally I'm feeling okay, but physically I just don't feel like it. And my mental desire to do something can't counteract my physical desire to not do a damn thing. Not if I don't have to.

Snookums didn't have work or school today, so we were home together for once. I don't even know when the last time that happened was. He cleaned. My sweet husband cleaned the kitchen top to bottom, straightened up our bathroom, vacuumed the house, and started the laundry. All while I laid in bed, scrolled Facebook, and watched a Law and Order: SVU marathon. Not because I didn't want the house clean, my desire to participate in life is just non-existent right now. Why life? Why? It would almost be easier to understand if I was feeling mentally distracted by something. The apathy is worse than the anguish... okay, not really. It's just a different kind of suffering.

5:30ish, Snookums managed to coax me out of bed, and sent me to Central Market to buy snacks and dinner groceries. So, I did. Dinner definitely wasn't inspired tonight. Bean burritos with Spanish rice and homemade guacamole. It was tasty, though. I ate about 3/4 of a burrito. Kiki ate 3 of her own, and the rest of mine. I don't know how the girl does it.

The kids have tomorrow off (unused snow day), and I don't work. If it's not raining I want to take them on a little hike or to the park. But we all know how my best intentions are going lately. I'll just make it to the couch instead of being stuck in my bedroom.




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