Katie-Brave

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2016-02-06 21:22:31 (UTC)

Nightmares and Encoragement

Mood: Encouraged,
Song: Survivor By Reba
Color Orange with flecks of black.

So last night was horrible!
I had nightmares all night some of which i know were demonic i felt like i was in a drugged sleep even though i know i wasn't because the only thing i had in my system last night before i went to bed was some raspberry tea....
But i has several weird mixed up places nightmares
like this one where i think it was at MSBC before the remodeling which was over 10 years ago...
but it was in dads old office which became the outer office and he moved his into where the sound room used to be...
but i was there and he was there and a lady came in needing to talk to him which isn't unusual at all.
but then he's sitting on the edge of his desk and she's in a chair in front of the desk and i'm standing off to the side half way behind the desk and i can't quite see her( i think i was a kid with the mind and memories i have now?) cause i was shorter and my vantage point was different and all the sudden the situation shifted and my dad tenses and he turns slowly to look at me but he doesn't meet my eyes directly and then i hear what sounds like a blow torch....but it wasn't it was letting gas into the room and then i heard a clicking of a lighter and i hear my dad say if you Light that i will kill you and the and then i feel sparks hit me and i hear the sound fire makes when it hits gasoline
the wooshing sound...and then all i see is black because my eyes are stinging and i feel the heat and pain and i woke up.
But i Experienced sleep Paralysis and i couldn't move for a couple of minutes...ugh i've only had that happen once before and it didn't last that long.
but i was genuinely scared by that nightmare and then i woke up and couldn't move when i did i sat up so fast and got out of bet and basically sat down on the floor for a minute my heart racing... i considered going down stairs and waking up my parents but i haven't done that for a nightmare since i was 10.
and i felt so tired...i said in my head and then out loud that the devil had no place here that he had to leave not to bother me or my family or my home.
and i fell back asleep.
but i still had nightmares...
like this one where i am trying to get me and Emma and a few other people home and we only have two bikes and a scooter and there are four of us...it's me...Emma tara Tristan and someone else i can't place.
Tristan and i are on the bikes the other person is on the scooter and
EEmma is on the back of my bike and Tara is walking beside the person on the scooter.
and we just keep getting put in danger the close and closer we get to home the more dangerous things happen like a car almost hitting us or a person trying to kidnap Emma and I.

In another dream I'm swimming across this lake and there are several people swimming as well when like 3 people start drowning and i'm far away from them and it's like i'm the only one who can see them.
the people drowning were Jake, Gene, and Steve...
and i swim as fast as i can to help them and i go to gene first but then he pulls me down and i go under but i break free and swim up for air...
and i don't see gene come up and i don't see Steve anymore and i try to get to jake( i'm yelling at him trying to tell him to relax and swim to stop panicing and i reach him and i say "STOP! let me help you. and he says you can't help me Katie in like a resigned sad voice not a panicked voice like his actions and he starts to sink and i grab his hand and hang on i grab a buoy with one hand and try to pull him up with the other hand. and i manage to do it. and i force him to grab it and he finally does...
and i see someone in a boat coming toward us i make sure he's got the buoy and i let go of it and i start to sink and i go under no matter how hard i fight it and say help and reach my hand out but he dose't help me and i see him talk to the person in the boat and they pull him in and he points to where i went under and then in the dream i run out of air and it goes black and i woke up.

Just crap like that all night!
i hate this last dream( i hate then all)
it was like i had to choose who i could save i tried to save gene and he pulled me down...i looked for Steve and it was to late...and then Jake...the last person i would have saved...i saved him and he let me drown. I feel like crying telling these dreams. they were so personal and intense.


But then i got on here to write about it and i saw feedback from my fried David.
an entry written to me and a message.
which was amazing because i just needed it today.
i got up this morning and i wanted to talk to someone about these dreams but no one was home...everyone was gone which normally wouldn't bother me but today...i was freaked out.
but I'm okay now.
David you just Encouraged me and made me feel like everything was going to be okay you made me smile and that means the world to me...
SO thank you...
thank you very much.
God bless

I think that's all for this entry...or rather i think I've had enough of this entry....Stupid Dreams!!!!

Peace.

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