Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-02-04 07:16:37 (UTC)

The Heat of My Skin

I can feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. It's been a long day. I'm tired. I haven't eaten enough. I'm probably a little dehydrated from all the talking I did today... but I'm happy. It was a great day.

Even though I went to bed early (for me. 10:40pm) and slept well, when my alarm went off at 7am, I wanted to cry. Of all the things expected of me as an adult, I find it funny that getting up early for work is the hardest, least pleasant thing. I'd rather donate a kidney to a stranger than get up early. Dramatic much? Maybe. But I'm not exaggerating. I hate mornings. I finally dragged my sorry ass out of bed at 7:45am. Which meant I had to rush to get dressed, no time for my morning smoothie, no time to stop for coffee. I left the house 5 minutes after 9am, and pulled into the Tacoma mall parking lot at 9:54pm. Thank goodness their VS is close to the main entrance! And thank goodness State Patrol was too busy to notice me doing 70 in a 60!

As I always do when I'm teaching a class outside of my home store, I felt kind of shy first meeting today's bra certification participants. Turns out every single one of them was a new member of management. The entire class. Honestly, at a time when I'm feeling very ambivalent about my position. About my job in general. It was kind of an honor to be chosen to teach the newest members of management. I'm not good enough to be a member of management, though. The irony isn't lost on me. My reputation within the district as being the best at what I do precedes me. It's not hard managing the business aspect of the store, but learning to be an expert at bra fittings seems to be a much tougher proposition for some of our leaders. Maybe there's a difference in the way the mind works for folks who like running the business, and those of us who couldn't give a shit about numbers, but care a lot about the interaction with the customer. Even though I'm such an introvert, I do derive pleasure from the one on one connection I receive from customers. I need it somehow. I never enjoyed conference calls, meetings, numbers, spreadsheets, reports, etc. But I like helping a customer find the right size and style. It makes me wonder if leaving VS for a desk job is really what I want... Today it isn't.

The day flew by in record time! Even though Tara and I hadn't had time to figure who was covering what material, we still managed to bounce off of each other nicely. With my expertise and her great ability to coach and engage, we were actually a great team. I find it so weird that she's a PINK store manager, not VSL. I think she belongs in a VSL store, and she knows it. But you do what Laura (our DM) tells you to! I hope eventually she ends up back in a VSL store, because you can tell it's where she'd rather be.

The headache had reached a crescendo in record time. I took my hits to take away the bite. In the time it took me to finish the last few sentences, it's kicked in. Faster than any pill. Headache totally gone. Sure it makes writing slightly more challenging, but that's half the fun! I can't imagine how I'd manage without my cannabis. It's far beyond recreational. This is my medicine. Between insomnia, depression, anxiety, and chronic pain, I feel like it's integral to my well-being and over-all health. The amount of pain killers I'd have to be taking is staggering to even think about. I'm glad I've gotten past the societally engrained stigma I harbored in the beginning. It was a kind of shame at first. Now, I'd tell anyone. Even my mother-in-law whom I'm sure Snookums would prefer I didn't tell! I don't know why she'd judge me about it. She drinks, and I don't. I could point out how abusive that is to one's body.

Once I was off work, I couldn't leave the Tacoma mall without looking through the stores we don't have in our mall. I even stopped into Nordstrom to see if a friend of mine (Gabe from the Y) was working. He wasn't. Which is a shame, because he's such a beautiful man. I haven't seen him in quite possibly 2 years. Or close to it.

LUSH was a must tonight. Somehow I managed to keep myself out of Sephora (because I do have a small one inside JCPenney's in our mall), but there's no LUSH in Kitsap mall (but let them put one in, I'd apply in a heartbeat). I've been using an Alba Botanica face cleanser that has pineapple enzyme in it, but I don't feel like it's doing my face any justice. My skin has been weird the past week or so. Dry in some places, over oily in others. The dry patches are flaking, I'm breaking out. It's not good. I want my perfect skin back. So, based on the recommendations from the associate there I purchased Angels On Bare Skin, which has crushed almonds, lavender oil, rosewater, and a bunch of other awesome ingredients. No preservatives or chemicals. I'm stoked about it. I also got a chocolate mint scented massage oil bar. I've been wanting one since I first discovered my love of LUSH.

When I got home, all I wanted to do was take a shower and get into bed. Food is still a disinterest. So, I didn't bother making dinner. I'll have my bananas as soon as I'm done writing. Good enough. Snookums decided he wanted to have some intimate time, which didn't sound like a terrible idea, so I got myself ready for bed, looking forward to the romantic interlude.

I used Angels On Bare Skin in the shower and it was AMAZING. It looks like a semi-solid bar of gritty putty inside the container. I pulled out a pea sized amount and added a few drops of water to it. It created a creamy paste that I massaged into my face before hopping in the shower. I let the steam open my pores to let all the essential oils in, and to let the clay pull impurities out. When I rinse, my skin felt so incredibly soft. I'm in love already. I hope I start seeing some changes in my skin soon. Mostly with the breakouts. I don't know what's going on.

I also slathered myself in the massage oil bar (you know, for product testing reasons). Almost as soon as it came in contact with the heat of my skin it started melting into the most luscious smelling oil. I rubbed every inch of myself it in. Almost two hours have passed, and I still smell delicious, and my skin is amazingly soft. Even Snookums noticed when he was touching me (and what man comments on how soft his wife's skin is during foreplay)?

Speaking of foreplay, tonight's encounter was so good. It's been awhile, and I think my body had set it's standards on the low side. Any sex is good sex mode. I came in the first 5 minutes. I don't know why, but it always makes me laugh when I come that fast. Most of the time I don't feel particularly sexually aroused. I just go about my life. Then I get a little taste of it, and I all of a sudden remember how much I love it. And then the more I have, the more I want. I'm sure to some extent it's like that for everyone.

I really should get myself something to eat. While I'm going through this stage of food disinterest, I want to make sure I don't fall into the dangerous habit of intentionally not eating. I don't need to add an eating disorder to my to-do list.




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