Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-02-03 05:28:02 (UTC)

It Comes and It Goes

I'm writing early in the hopes that I'll actually get some real sleep tonight. I think I may have gotten 4 hours last night. Not ideal. I'm not my best when I don't sleep well. I know it had everything to do with the (one-sided) argument I had with Snookums. I'm over it now, mostly because I know nothing is really going to change, and it's probably going to happen again.

Work was okay. It was slow. Enough traffic for me to have a decent sales day, but not good enough for the store as a whole to make plan, so I got to leave a little early. Even though I should be worried that I'm not working as much as I usually do, I'm not. It's just money. It comes an it goes.

Tomorrow I'm going to Tacoma to facilitate the bra certification class I don't want to do. Perhaps I should feel honored that my abilities are sought after. But really, it doesn't make me feel anything at the moment. Maybe a little used. That's a bit of a negative perspective to have on it, but it's what I'm feeling right now. Like I'm only as good as my ability to make the company money. And my ability to teach others so they too can make the company more money. It's definitely not what I want for myself.

I didn't go to the gym today, and I'm not going tomorrow either (I was too tired from not sleeping last night, and I'll be traveling tomorrow), but I'm looking forward to going on Thursday, because I bought myself a hipster at REI. It's a special waistband that you can slip your phone, keys, money, cards, etc. into. Since getting my new phone, I've been struggling with what to do with it while I'm at the gym working out. I want to listen to my music, but it doesn't fit in my old sleeve (and I don't like having the arm sleeve thing on my arm anyway). I don't like it in my pants waistband (it gets sweaty), and I don't usually wear things with pockets. So, this hipster should be great.

I found something I wanted to eat today. Hail Merry miracle tarts and macaroons. Lately nothing has seemed very good or exciting. I know I haven't been eating enough, because whenever I pee it's sickeningly sweet smelling (ketones). I want to get healthier and in better shape, but I'm not interested in starving. So, it's kind of nice having a day where I'm not feeling hungry, but struggling to find something appetizing. I'd love to know why I'm all of a sudden feeling so finicky.




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