Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-01-27 08:17:09 (UTC)

Don't Start Nothing, It Won't Be Nothing

I have no Facebook drama to moan about tonight. Actually, it's been an exceptional day in cyberspace. Two friends (who expressed ZERO prior interest) asked me to help them go vegan today! Two more friends who have been on the fence for the past couple months seem to be getting a little closer to taking the plunge. There were no online battles with fellow vegans. No long-term friends unfriended me. No annoying messages (I unfriended the handful giving me problems). I currently have 31 pending friend requests to vet (I had 23 this morning when I woke up, most of them I declined), and I still need to go through and get rid of the lurkers, but all in all, it was a better day. I need to figure out what I did differently today over other days. I did hold my tongue (or fingers) a few times. I didn't respond to things I might normally pop off on, and I think that definitely made some difference. Don't start nothing, it won't be nothing I guess. I still interacted in my groups. I just chose my words very judiciously, and left alone trigger topics. The stuff I know always ends up resulting in a shitstorm of monumental proportions.

My work out was probably the most zen workout I've had in a very long time. Very restorative. My back was burning like a raging inferno. So much pain. So, I took it easy on myself. I spent 20 minutes on the high incline treadmill at 5% incline and 3mph. It felt really nice to stretch my legs, and the angle of the incline seemed to take some pressure off my lower back. Then I did the upper body machines (because I'm always doing lower body). I chose to do low weights with lots of reps. I like the way this approach makes my muscles feel (long and lean). Heavy weights, lower reps always leaves me feeling stacked, and I'm not really looking for that. Women don't have the natural capacity to bulk up, and yet somehow lifting super heavy makes me feel bulky. It's probably all in my head. I know the mechanics of bodybuilding, and even at my most aggressive I never got bulky. Still, I like low weight, high reps better.

I went to Costco to do the majority of our food shopping for the week. Damn, did I underestimate how tough it would be to negotiate that giant cart once it started getting full. Not to mention lifting two 35 pound jugs of kitty litter and a 20 pound bag of food into the cart. Snookums was not pleased with me when he saw I'd done that. But we needed it. The kitties go through so much litter each week (7 cats make lots of poop and pee), and Mischa is going through this phase where she'll gobble up the entire bowl of food if she's left alone in the kitchen for more than a few minutes. She's so darn cute, but man, she's killing us with the extra food expense. She isn't eating any less of her own food!

The kids were such a big help when I got home. They'd already cleaned the kitchen, they brought in all the groceries (so I wouldn't have to lift them again), they helped me clean out the fridge, and together we put all the food away. I feel so fortunate to have the children I have. Like the universe knew I'd been through enough, and couldn't handle raising challenging kids. It's not that I've ever wanted them to blindly do as I say, I'm just really lucky that they aren't the type of people that need to push back all the time. They have easy-going personalities. Not so much Annie as a little girl (you can read some of my struggles in the earlier entries), but definitely Kiki and Keenan. And now Annie is so great at managing her impulses. You'd never know she was diagnosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder at 6 or 7 years old. I'm still thankful I had enough sense not to medicate her. I don't even want to know how differently she would have turned out.

The timing is right, yet somehow it still came as a shock to me. My period started. Whenever I'm focused on eating well and getting exercise, my PMS symptoms are always way less pronounced. I woke up this morning with the faintest cramps (and the blazing inferno of back pain above and beyond my norm), so I had some clue it was inbound, but there just wasn't the usual week of emotional turmoil and desire to eat ALL THE THINGS. Actually, I haven't been eating much at all. Up until 7:30pm all I'd had the entire day was a handful of vegan cheese crackers and my usually quad soy latte. I had avocado toast and some hazelnut hot cocoa for dinner. I made banana oat bread since I had a few bananas on their way out (like almost black). I took a boxed banana bread mix (my favorite one, I use it all the time because it's predictably successful) and added half a cup of oat bran to the mix. Then I dusted the pan with oat bran (to prevent sticking) and dusted a little more on top for texture. I'm having some now, and I'm loving the hearty bite. Now I can pretend it's somewhat good for me. Despite there being a generous amount of sugar in the mix.

Snookums has me propped up in bed with my heating pad on. I wouldn't think it was working, if it didn't shut itself off on occasion and I'd be back to blazing hot pain again. So, the heating pad does offer some relief. I'm sure ice would too, but I'm just always so cold. I can't bear the idea of putting ice anywhere on my body! So, between my cannabis and my heating pad, I'm going to try to find enough relief to sleep.

I anticipate tomorrow will be another great day. I work, but not until 5:30pm. I get to sleep in, hit the gym, then I'll probably come home to get ready for work. I don't love getting ready for work at the gym, but some days it's just the more practical choice.




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