Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-01-23 06:51:35 (UTC)

My Absurd Version of Normal

Finally getting back into the swing of things today. The past few days I've felt pent up, frustrated, kind of antsy. I always think I want to lay around and do nothing, but the fact of the matter is, I don't want to do that for more than a day or two. Then it becomes a punishment. Perhaps more so mentally than physically, but I need to be active.

My first day back to work went really well. There wasn't any point where I felt like I didn't want to be there, or I was in a bad mood. Believe it or not, I was grateful to be there. Grateful to be feeling back to normal (my absurd version of normal, but still normal). Grateful to be out of bed and ambulatory! I wasn't too concerned about numbers since I've gotten a leg up on the month (before I broke myself), but I still ended up having a good day in that regard as well. Overall it was a great work day. Yay!

After work I stopped into Trader Joe's to pick up something for dinner. Snookums happened to be working, so of course I chatted with him for a minute. I settled on something easy and simple. Asian veggies (stir-fried in coconut oil with garlic, umami, and soy sauce) over Jasmine rice. So simple and so good. I have a small container I'm taking for lunch tomorrow. But really, I need to do some more food prep. I have no lunches made up in the fridge. That puts me at risk of not having something easy to grab for work lunches. I hate when that happens.

I called the gym this afternoon and asked if it was okay if I brought Kiki and Keenan with me to workout. Not that they'd be working out, but if they could hang out in the member's lounge area while I did. Turns out it's cool, which is awesome, because there are times I'd like to work out, but I feel bad about leaving them at home. Especially when Annie has plans, or could be out doing something with her friends. They had a good time reading and playing on their tablets in the new surroundings. Next time I promised them we'd bring some cash so they could get healthy snacks out of the vending machine. Keenan was excited about that. I'm really happy at Snap. I'm starting to feel settled. I've got my favorite treadmill, and my favorite elliptical. The only thing I need to work on is getting comfortable with the free weights again. I've been relegating myself to the selectorized machines for so long, I've lost my confidence. But I'll get it back.

Even after working out, my back and hip aren't feeling any worse off than before. I've decided that if I'm going to be in pain, I might as well work on improving the rest of my body, anyway. I'm not at all unhappy with my appearance, nor do I feel self-conscious. It's probably the first time in my adult life that I really couldn't give a fuck if people think I'm skinny or fat (well, I'm definitely more on the fat side, but whatever). It's not important what others think. That doesn't mean I don't recognize the room there is for improvement. I don't want to be the fat vegan. I want to be lean and healthy. I'm totally capable of doing it. I've done it before. The difference is, this is the last time, because food doesn't have the same place of priority in my life. I eat to live, I don't live to eat. I'm excited to see the changes as I progress. I'm well on my way.




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