Screened In Porch

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2016-01-22 13:42:15 (UTC)

Wintery mix of food for thought

So, we woke up to a dusting of snow here in NC. The world has
stopped around us. I hear no cars, no planes or trains...just the
beating of my heart in my throat.

I took some photos to share. But for some reason everything has
changed....with my camera and downloading photos. Once upon a
time, I could stick the memory card in my computer and only the
NEW photos would download to a file with the date that this was
happening....not anymore!

Now...for some unknown reason to me, my computer wants to download
every single photo on that memory card....all 3490 of them...although
I already have them on this computer. No choice was given to me
to why this new way no reason, no rhyme...just this is the way it
is...fuck me.

So...I will need to figure this shit out before I list house and try to
download photos to put on MLS and my webpage. FUCK IT

WHY in the hell can things stay the same....life would be so
much easier.

This aggravation is heavy on my heart....my heart feels so
broken...lump in my throat today....becoming the norm now.

Breaking hearts are real people.

Please do not break the heart of people you are supposed to
care about...and then call them when you need them. One of
these days...I will be too hurt, too messed up...to damaged
to answer the phone. Seriously...

Giving your love, your time, you money, your strength, your mind...
your heart everytime someone needs you....they become a part of
what keeps you alive and healthy....

then one day....for no reason known to you....

maybe you said "uh, no I can not do that this time" too many times..

maybe they are too weak and stupid to see that your wrinkles is
a sign of age...your time is as limited as your means....these
days...and they do not care. You start to feel that they never
loved you for real in the first place....what happened to
bring this all to light?

When I was little....I was devastated at the looks of disappointment fro the only people in my life that I wanted to smile at me....that was the start of it....and now...

this on top of that...that memory of the pain I felt....

Oh my God....

why is this happening to me?

What in the hell have I done that is so bad that I deserve
this now...in my old age? For GOD's Sake...just take me now
lord...as I can hardly bare this pain anymore....

fuck it

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