My Letter To The World
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2016-01-15 04:55:24 (UTC)

Jealous like the old days

Current mood: Black
Current song: Fergie Big girls don't cry.

So...Brandyce and Hannah hung out all day... they've been talking more lately which is good, except that B has to act all high and mighty about it... goes on about how her and Hannah talked for a long time blah blah blah and then when asked what about doesn't say anything or just goes ah nothing or the ever present alot of things...
I mean i'm glad they are getting along i'd rather they got along and i felt like the third wheel than the alternative.
Lie tonight when we got out of prayer meeting we waited for Lori to come get Hayden and Brandon and then talked for a few minutes after and then Hannah say... as she always does "okay i need to get home" so i take that as my cue to get out of the truck so they can leave and it's silent and sad and awkward.
Hannah hugs me says good bye say tell us when you get home and that it.

I was sad already today i was hoping to get to spend some time with them but no...they wanted to go.
and so i left and that was that.
and then i get a message from B just now almost 3 hours later that they saw some weird thing at the lake blah who cares?
the point was they have been out at the lake for the past 3 hours talking and hanging out and they didn't tell me, didn't invite me, made it seem like they were going home.
I guess i wasn't wanted tonight.

I feel hurt and Jealous...like the old days before the crap that is the relationship between the three of us with secrets 3 ways and i'm tired.
and alone.

thanks alot guys.