Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-01-13 07:27:19 (UTC)

It's A Discipline

I did absolutely nothing today. It didn't feel as satisfying as it could have. But I didn't feel like a failure because of it, either. I just didn't really have anything I wanted to do today. Not great need or desire to even get out of bed.

A few times during the day I thought about what my desire to sit and do nothing really means. Is it depression? Is it just laziness? What is it that removes all desire to be productive? Does it stem from something mental, or is it physical? I'm not sure. But sometimes I just need to do nothing. I don't want to get up and get dressed, or go anywhere. Honestly, I don't even want to be writing right now. But it's a discipline. Something I need to do. Even when I don't want to, I write. It's part of my stability.

I can't go to the gym until Snookums gets paid. So, probably Thursday. My free trial is over, and there's a joining fee plus first months dues that need to happen. We're a little tight right now partly because of the holidays, and because of the winter break. Snookums doesn't get a stipend unless he's in school and they pay for the time he's in school, not what he might attend (so basically he gets paid on the 1st for the schooling he did the month before). So breaks affect how much he gets It's usually $1,800/month. It was about $300 this month. Of course we have everything covered as far as bills go, but it doesn't leave us with much else to work with. I can wait a couple days.

Already I'm starting to feel the benefits of eating better and getting a little exercise. I'm less bloated, feel a little trimmer, I have more energy. I'm feeling good. That's what I was hoping for. Since I can't go for at least one more day, I'll focus on my eating. That is always under my control.




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