Screened In Porch

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2016-01-10 12:08:38 (UTC)

Early in 2016

For sometime I thought time was going by so fast...it seemed like

yesterday was Sunday and here it is again. This week has went by
a little slower for me though.
Sick of the rain....enough.

I usually have a hard time during the winter. This is not a good time
of year for me ever. At least not so far.

I still feel I should be in a warmer climate. But feeling it and
it being the case is two different situations. Seems like the
plans and dreams I had for my life will not be working out.

He is scheduled to go back to work. Not sure if he will or not.
I will believe it when it happens. Right now I see him doing
nothing he says he will do. But then again, he is older and I
have learned that being older, feeling like crap and wishing you
could do things and doing them are usually two different things.
The norm for us now.

I have been sick since September.

Even if they wanted to replace my knee; it will have to be
postponed until I am over this jungle rot crap. Happens this
time of year every year.

I know what it causing it.

We have MOLD in this house. Not just the kind you smell, but the
kind you see. It is more so in my side of the house and I am the
one that gets the blunt of its affect. Saying this to him does
not mean anything. He does nothing. He says he will. But
time proves that he will do nothing.

He gave his good for nothing brother 10 thousand dollars recently
so he could buy a truck. It is not that we do not have the
money, we do.

I am afraid if he were to go out of town long enough for me to
have someone in here to take care of while he is gone...that
our house may be condemned and we would have to move...maybe
have to get rid of everything that could also be affected.

Maybe that is the best thing to do. But I can not do that
alone. My fight is gone. I have no energy.

I feel the that I am living the last days of my life and this
could be the last year you guys even read my post....

it has been changed to public again....

I put it to private after that blow up with my friend.

Now, I do not give a shit about that bitch. She proved
what kind of friend she is. A very disappointing time for
me. I thought she was for real. But she is worse than
any drug addict or heron addict...at least you can see
they are addicted. She is still parading around as a
normal person...with a little bit of sense. Now, she
has been revealed as the barbiturate freak cat lover
that she is. She is crazy. I get that now.

It is not normal for someone to talk to you on the phone
for 6 hours non stop and never say anything about anything
that is relevant to you.....just going on and on about
other people and situations never stopping long enough for
you to say anything.

She claims I have hurt her feelings. LOL

Yeah, I bet it does hurt when someone finally sees you for what
you are...and says...no more. NO MORE.

Now, I am dealing with my own shit.

No one comes to help me.
No one calls me to see if I need anything....or
offers a ride to the store or doctor....or anything.

After her....

I do not trust anyone anymore. Now, I would wonder what in
the hell are they up too. Why are they here...if anyone
did show up.

I am done with everyone.

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