Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-01-03 06:11:18 (UTC)

Miserable, Yet Still Holding On

Not one of my finest moments, but I basically lost my shit at work today. I'm sick and tired of working so damn hard and never having anything to show for it. The busiest time of year has found me making less money than I make at any other time. That makes no sense to me. I should be making sales plan easily. Not pulling some of my lowest numbers since we moved to the new store. I got frustrated. I'm not in it just for the money, but if my performance is also being measured by the same metrics, then yes. I need to do well. It's becoming more and more clear to me that I need to get the hell out of retail. VS was never supposed to become a lifelong thing. Yet, here I am... miserable, yet still holding on.

I'm physically starting to feel the effects of retail work. My feet are constantly killing me. To the point where I have large callouses on the bottoms of my feet, my toes cramp up, my achilles tendons are tight and get very sore at times. I know I'll start feeling better once I get back in the gym and get more active, I'm waiting for the day it's feasible. I still need to go into the gym during their staffed hours to get my membership up and running, but I can't unless it happens on a day off. And it will this week. With holiday done, and Semi-Annual winding down, I'll be working less, and I'm looking forward to that. I definitely need to work on my fitness level. It will help so much with my pain, which is getting increasingly more unbearable.

All day as I went about the drudgery of my job, I gave serious thought to what it is I'd like to do. I'm definitely leaning more towards the medical field. Like an office job at a wellness center, or something similar. I'd love a day job, no evenings, weekends off, holidays off, etc. It would be so nice having more time off with the kids. It seems like when they're out of school I'm always working, and then my days off fall on weekdays when they're in school. I pretty much see them during the summer months. This too is getting old. The problem (aside from my irrational loyalty to a company I'm basically just an insignificant pion in) is finding this dream job, and not taking a drastic pay cut in the process. I also worry about quitting my otherwise stable job only to find out I hate the new one. My last day job ended in disaster. I hated being a dental assistant. It was a terrible fit for me. To the point where I'd come home crying most days. Fear keeps were I am, even though I long for more...

Now that I've bitched and moaned a little, I feel better. I'm going to get a good night's sleep, I'm going to get up with enough time to eat breakfast, have some coffee, and get to work on time and without rushing. I think it will help my day go a little smoother. At least, I hope.




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