Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2016-01-01 05:11:36 (UTC)

The Realest Conversation Ever

I think I might have just had the realest conversation with Snookums that we've ever had in the 13 years we've been together. Even though for the most part things are good (nothing majorly wrong), there is always room for improvement, and we're still dealing with the drama around Annie's boyfriend. Jason is being completely unreasonable and I've had enough. I let everything out. Put all my cards on the table. Now the ball is in his court. At some points during the conversation it looked like he was on the verge of tears. It wasn't my intention to upset him, but I still hope he took what I said to heart. I don't feel like getting into any great detail about it, because it was between the two of us, but it was probably the deepest conversation we've had. Deeper even than some of the major, life-altering situations we've been through in our marriage. I'm hoping he really listened. I feel like he did, but he's also quick to revert back to old behaviors. I have questions that require answers, and he wasn't able to answer them so this will be revisited. Repeatedly. Ugh...

As we'd planned yesterday, we took the kids up to Port Townsend. It was such a beautiful day, but COLD, so we didn't go to Fort Worden. I longed to, but I know I wouldn't have wanted to get out of the car. It was so cold, my eyes hurt. Not that it was as cold as some places get, it was just very cold by Washington standards. I'll never get used to being cold. We went to Phoenix Rising, Abracadabra, World's End, and had lunch at the Pizza Factory. It was a fun little outing with the kids, then we headed back towards home.

Snookums was kind of brooding and quiet most of the day, which is what prompted our realest conversation ever. When he gets upset, he shuts down and just turns into an asshole to everyone. He lacks emotional maturity, and at almost 40 years old it needs to stop. I'm over it. Even right now, when he should be hanging out with me and the kids, he's laying in bed. I don't know what I need to say or do to get through to him, but at this point I don't think there is anything I can do.

So this is how I'm starting off the new year. The same old bullshit...




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