Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Maybe Next Year
It's 3:40am, and I'm just feeling kind of miserable even though rationally I know I've got a great life...
When I woke up this morning, I felt really optimistic about the day. Snookums told me yesterday that he had "something planned", but he didn't say what. He'd already given me the gift he bought for me - an earring and necklace set he bought yesterday. I know he bought it yesterday because he used our joint bank account to pay for it. I'm not a fan of jewelry. It's expensive, and honestly I'd rather have a nice piece of fashion jewelry (a long pendant necklace, or a chunky piece) instead of diamonds and gems. But I was sure to express my gratitude. I am grateful that he got me a gift. I don't know what I expected for him to have planned, but he told me to have the kids ready to go by the time he got home from work. Why would the kids be hanging out with us? Okay, whatever.
His plans? He was taking Annie and I to get new cellphones. We've had our phones for two years. Annie has had hers since her 14th birthday and she'll be 17 in May. His plan for our anniversary was spending 3 hours at T-Mobile getting free upgrades. There was nothing wrong with my phone, despite it's age (ancient by technology standards). Honestly, I don't even like the Note 5. I had my phone just the way I liked it. This new version is smaller, more complicated, and I'm having trouble getting all of my apps set back up. And the updated version of smart remote on this phone isn't compatible with our 3 year old tv. Because technology is useless after a year, apparently. I'm just not in love with it. Good thing it didn't cost me anything, or I'd take it back.
I was hoping after spending the afternoon in the mall (the last fucking place I wanted to be on both a day off AND my anniversary), I was hoping there was something else planned... like a nice dinner together or something. Nope. He didn't make dinner plans. I suggested several places, he shot them all down. Then he decided driving around Bainbridge Island in hopes of something "jumping out at us" was a good idea... nope. It wasn't. We ended up grabbing food at Central Market and coming home. So basically, every regular night of our life. I spent the rest of the evening into the night wrapping the kids' Christmas presents. He slept. But whatever.
I told him last month I was hoping to finally do something special for our anniversary. 12 years and it's always the same thing. A late night of wrapping presents. Not even a decent date night like we have dozens of times throughout the year. As we were pulling into the Central Market parking lot, I actually had to fight back tears. Not only did we not get any quality time together, he was starting to get tired and short tempered with people crossing the damn parking lot.
I know I have a great life. I get that. My husband is wonderful to me 99% of the time... I just had my heart set on more.
Maybe next year.
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