Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-12-06 07:41:17 (UTC)

Some Kind of Tolerance

For only the second time ever, Snookums and I experimented with high sex. Well, I was high. He wasn't really. He took a dropper of his tincture, but because of this size, it didn't really make him high. I on the other hand, was. It was the craziest sensation. Unlike the first time we tried it, I wasn't scared this time. I think I'm developing some kind of tolerance. It's definitely not a high tolerance, but I don't get the same sensations I did when I first started smoking. I felt very connected to everything. Each touch was amplified, and the sensations of pleasure were so much more pronounced. Also, the pain usually associated with sex just wasn't there. There are times when it feels like Snookums is too long, or the angle isn't quite right and sex is downright painful. That wasn't the case last night. Everything about it was better.

Before the sex happened, Snookums and I had a very interesting conversation. It's no secret that I'm polyamorous. Monogamy is a fucking struggle for me. I love Snookums to no end. Even when our relationship requires more work. There's no doubt that I want him in my life forever. And yet there's still a part of me that wants and yearns for relationships and experiences outside of the 4 walls of our safe, secure, comfortable marriage. It isn't just sex. Actually, it has very little to do with sex, and more about enriching experiences and getting to know other people on a one on one basis. That's how I like to interact with people. Men and women. Anyhow, Snookums brought up the idea of exploring an open relationship (after I told him about the male customer I helped yesterday who was going to a swinger's club). I told Snookums I'm not particularly curious about the swinging scene, but if he was interested in exploring an intimate relationship outside the confines of our marriage, I'm okay with that. And not because I want an excuse to sleep around. That's not the case. Actually, I'm not at all interested in that at the moment. I am interested in allowing my husband to experience relationships beyond just me. He was a sheltered kid, and even in the years after he left his parents home and joined the Navy, he didn't have a lot of experience dating. He's blossoming into himself, and it's natural for him to want to experience other women. Society says monogamy is required. I don't feel that way. I never have. I've tried, but it's torturous.

So I've turned my husband to marijuana and extramarital affairs. I'm such a great influence!

I nearly had a mental fucking breakdown at work today. People were being so rude and demanding. Thank goodness my numbers were at least good. I don't think I could have handled shitty sales numbers and nasty customers. When 8pm rolled around, I couldn't get out of their fast enough. Day 2 of 5 is in the books. I survived, but I have to turn around and open tomorrow. I just want the holidays to be over. Nothing is more irritating than having Christmas shoved down your throat by Christians who stole the true meaning of the holiday, but then don't even uphold what they say it's supposed to be about. What happened to the "reason for the season"? Would Jesus really snap at a sales associate for not having his size? I think not...




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