Therapist

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2015-11-29 01:59:53 (UTC)

Lon time ... im finnally 18. Never had a bf..

Lon time ... im finnally 18. Never had a bf or my first kiss. Naya got engaged today. Antonio has a picture of ano th er girl, oh how I knew it. Damn it. My heart hurts, when am I going to get th e whole love experience when is someone ever going to be afraid of losing me that's not family related. Really. I'm 18. So un experience I seriously don't know if I'll ever have my chance. Why do I read wrong signals. Why. Why damn it. Man. I should just stop texting him. We are just going to be friends. Man. I knew it. It always happens. Always friendzoned sorry rejecting those 4 guys, maybe th is is my lunishment. Not getting any love becuase I rejected them all. Why. Why. I st at t to question what is wrong wi th me. I start to question if I'm really stupid, for people to treat this way. I'm not crying becuase of antonio I knew it was never going to happen. Shoot he'd probably bring another girl to the wedding. Yrah. Never asking him that girlfriend might just hate me. It's offical. I'm not good enough for anyone. Nobody. I feel weak. Weak for crying and trying. Trying to make others happy. People can't see that. When am I ever going to get that feeling! All I get is betral! Of myself. Feeling left out. Not good enough not pretty enough. Not being smart enough. Just being useless what do those girls that I dont! Intelligence? Curves. Knowledge. WHAT!
Ugh.
I'm just so picky. Why?!?!

I'm not good enough for nobody. Stop saying that I am I'm not. Thanks. Man... I feel even more insecure. ... 😶 man. Guys think I'm a joke. I don't understand myself. I'm sounding pretty desperate right now. PMan...




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