Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-11-28 06:13:05 (UTC)

Loyal to a Fault

My 10th Black Friday with Victoria's Secret is in the bag. While a huge part of me feels like I'm living this huge lie, that I'm betraying the natural, crunchy, granola, hippie vegan side of myself (the whole of myself, really) by working at VS, I'm still irrationally loyal to this company. I know there isn't anywhere else I could go and do what I do, get paid what I do, and receive the respect/admiration/appreciation that I do. Even though I complain (because this is my diary and this is where I choose to do my complaining) I know I couldn't just walk into Macy's and get a job like I have now. There's just no way. So, for that reason I am loyal to VS. I want to walk away. Every fiber of my being wants to put in my two weeks, open a little vegan café, and never look back... But I can't. That just isn't possible. Because I need my job, and because I'm loyal to a fault.

At times it felt very busy, and at some moments it felt like your average Saturday. I don't think I realized how busy I'd been all day until towards the last half hour of my shift. All of a sudden it hit me. My throat was sore, my back hurt, my feet hurt, I developed a throbbing headache, and the tiredness kicked in. I didn't get as much sleep last night as I could have (and should have), but I'll definitely be making up for that tonight. I have to turn right back around and do it again. The Saturday after Thanksgiving is just as busy as Friday. I hate the holidays. I don't think I've mentioned that yet today. Commercialization has taken over everything that ever used to have any kind of importance. Now everything is an occasion to go shopping. I like shopping, but not the way society tells me I should.

Three friends coincidentally posted anti-vegan memes on Facebook today... initially I just wanted to delete them, because really they mean nothing to me. I wouldn't even call them friends. Acquaintances, but Facebook insists on making them more. Curiosity got the better of me, and I didn't unfriend. If I unfriend them, then I can't watch the train wrecks that are their lives unfold for my entertainment. I did write a post about it. Basically mocking them for mocking vegans. I hope they become offended and remove themselves. Everyone is so easily offended these days, sometimes you can use that to your advantage. More than likely they won't. They'll just make light of it, laugh it off and tell me to chill out, it's just a joke. Well, fuck your steak assholes.

I don't think I'm the only vegan that looks back at my pre-vegan life and wonders how I ever wasn't aware. How did I go so long without realizing the damage that's been done. That continues to be done. Our planet is crying out for change, and yet people are so absorbed with their own wants and desires, that they simply don't care. Honestly, it wears me down. So, having people who say they want to be my friend make fun of something I feel so strongly about hurts. I don't believe in religion, but I don't mock my religious friends. I don't post graphic slaughter videos, or talk down to people for not converting to veganism. But it's okay to make fun of me for being vegan. It's so fucked up. I'm exhausted by the hypocrisy.

I'm so very sleepy. I'm looking forward to falling right asleep tonight. I need to pull myself together so I can do it all again tomorrow! Yay...




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