Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-11-19 07:54:51 (UTC)

A Darker Shade of Dark

I can honestly say I got the most out of this day. It didn't feel like I wasted any time, even though I wasn't particularly busy, and didn't really get anything of importance done. I think any day I don't spend the majority of my time at work, or staring at my phone, feels like a success. Even if I don't get a damn thing done otherwise!

I woke up naturally, on my own around 7:30am. This is out of the ordinary for me in and of itself. I'm not a morning person. This is no secret. So, to wake up and feel totally rested at 7:30am feels like a huge win. That's what happens when you go to bed before midnight, I guess.

Since I didn't feel the need to go back to sleep, I decided to do something I've been wanting to do for weeks, but kept putting off. I dyed my hair. It may not sound like a big deal, but the dye I got is a natural henna dye that requires a longer setting time than regular boxed dye. I just couldn't seem to carve out the 2 hours (start to finish) needed to get it done. Well, it's done now. I got the dye in, ran myself a bath, and started my day off with fresh new hair and a relaxing soak. The color is called Earth Red, but on my naturally dark brown hair, it's currently an even darker shade of... dark. It's not looking very red unless light hits my roots just right. It doesn't look brown or black necessarily, either. Just a darker shade of dark. Once the residual excess dye is washed out it will probably look more red. That's what usually happens.

I went to Fitness Evolution. The gym I wanted to check out. I was all set to love it, but I just didn't. Essentially its a vast, open warehouse with some equipment interspersed in some rhyme or reason that isn't immediately clear to me. On top of that, it was a sausage-fest. Guys everywhere. Black guys mostly. More men of color that I think I've seen congregated anywhere around Kitsap County. The issue with that, is black men find me attractive (and I them). Walking into that gym felt like a lamb wandering into the lion's den. I don't think of myself as this ravishing beauty that lures men to their demise. And yet, I can't work out in any gym without unsolicited attention. This particular gym would have been the worst by far. I could already tell. I told Snookums about my experience and he wasn't really surprised. He basically told me I should have expected it, since the gym is in the heart of Bremerton (near the base, and were the largest concentration of people of color in Kitsap live). I'll be perfectly honest. I'm attracted to black guys physically. I love their dark skin, naturally muscular builds, course dark hair, deep voices, etc. But I'm trying to be "good", and working out at that gym wouldn't have been conducive to that goal. I know myself. I know my weaknesses, and a gym full of beautiful, built chocolate men wouldn't have helped the cause. Also, sometimes I just want to be left alone, and that wasn't going to happen there. Snookums said I should just do hot yoga. So maybe tomorrow I'll go look into that.

I need to make an appointment with my gynecologist. I got the notice a couple weeks ago reminding me it's time for my yearly cancer screenings. I don't want to. I never want to. I know it's essential that I stay on top of it due to family history, but I hate waiting and worrying about test results. It's almost easier to just ignore it. Today I had a little wake up that it's not okay to ignore my health, and I need to make that appointment. Not because of cancer. Who knows what it's about, but I know it's not normal. Snookums and I were having sex earlier this afternoon, and everything was fine. I was on top, which seems to be the position I have the least issues with. I'm in control of depth, speed, angle, etc. I don't hurt, or bleed. It was good. We took a nap, then went out to dinner afterwards. Well, Snookums initiated round two when we got home and I don't know what happened, but it HURT. SO. BAD. He started from the back at first, then switched to missionary, and even though he wasn't thrusting particularly hard or doing anything rough, it felt like knives were stabbing me in the abdomen. Each thrust hurt more than the last. For a few seconds I thought I wouldn't be able to pretend it felt good. I thought I'd have to ask him to stop, but thankfully he finished, and the pain stopped. It was awful. I tried googling possible causes, and the only thing that really kept popping up was Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. I have none of the symptoms of PID except the abdominal pain during sex. There's chance it could be due to fibroids as well, but I've never had an issue with fibroids. This would be why I should just bit the bullet and see my doctor... still don't want to, though.




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