Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-11-18 06:44:52 (UTC)

This Feeling of Underachieving

Day 2 without social media wasn't as fantastical as Day 1. I missed it a little (but not enough to want to go back). Probably because I had to work. It was painfully slow due to a rain and windstorm passing through the area. People weren't coming out in the numbers we usually see. When I have a free moment I sneak into the fitting room hallway and scroll through Facebook really quick. It helps break up the monotony of doing the same thing day in and day out. It isn't that I don't like my job, it just gets monotonous at times. I'd like to think it's because I'm too intelligent to simply be a retail worker the rest of my life. The problem is, I have no idea how to go about rectifying this feeling of underachieving. It's not a new emotion. I've felt this way most of my adult life. I'm also lazy. I don't want to put in the work it would require to be successful in something other than menial tasks. While sitting in the Barnes & Noble café on my break, I had the fleeting idea of becoming a freelance writer. But I have no formal education in writing. I'm not a journalist. What would I write about? Who would want to read it? Nobody... so I'll keep selling underwear, and feeling like a failure.

I've been thinking about getting back in the gym. I kind of miss it, but really I'm missing my muscle definition more. Being vegan has helped me lose some weight, but it does nothing for my strength level. Or my back issues. I need to strengthen my back muscles. I don't want to go back to the Y. It's just too darn expensive. There's a new gym in Bremerton called Fitness Evolution. It's a little bit of a drive, but it's only $9.99/month. Considering my Y membership was over $60/month, this is a damn steal! Hot yoga is definitely something I want to do, but it's $16/class. I'd want to do it 2-3 times/week. So, you can see how fast that would add up. I'm going to stop in there tomorrow and see what it's all about. Maybe take a tour. I saw on their website that they have a kids' club. Maybe if it's something affordable (or part of the $9.99), it could be a family thing. The facility looks really great, and big. I'm also going to look into getting Snookums a membership. He's lost a great deal of weight since starting work at Trader Joe's, but exercise is more than just weight loss. It's mental health and wellbeing as well. We all need more mental health help.




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