Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-11-14 09:15:01 (UTC)

Any Number of Atrocities

There was a terrorist attack in Paris today. Facebook is emblazoned with the hashtag #prayforparis. I hate it. Not just because I'm an atheist, but because so many millions of people are dying all over the world due to any number of atrocities, but it doesn't make the news or garner any attention until it's a developed city in the 1st world. Yes, we should rally around Paris, but what of the rest of the world? Also, praying doesn't do a damn thing. If God did exist, he's a shitty "father", allowing all of the innocents in the world suffer and die. For what? No one really knows. The more stuff like this happens, the less I can bring myself to believe in God. And if I did, it wouldn't be the benevolent God Christians blubber about. God must be Satan in disguised, based on all the horror going on around the world. Fuck you God. Oh wait, you don't exist. So, I guess it doesn't really matter...

I'm finding it hard to tolerate other people's right to their beliefs today. I simply cannot fathom worshiping an invisible God. I tried so hard for so long to feel something. To make the connection so many Christians swear they feel... but nothing. I'd pray, but it felt like I was talking to myself. It felt silly and pointless. There was never any deep emotional, visceral reaction that occurred. I felt like I was a crazy person mumbling to myself. And - shocker - nothing ever happened. Nothing I ever prayed for actually worked out. Not until I accepted that prayer is a fucking sham, and did what needed to be done to achieve my desired result. I would love for a believer to explain Christianity in a way that makes sense. What is it that keeps people loyal? I need proof. Irrefutable proof.

I don't feel like talking about work. Other than it was the same shit, different day. I'm going to sleep now...




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