Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
How I Long to Be Free
There isn't much to say about today... I woke up feeling like I couldn't possibly go to work. Not for any real reason other than I simply didn't want to. But I got over it (of course). As much as I love being free spirit and doing whatever I want, I'm also utterly responsible and realize that I need my income. Our family needs my income. But oh, how I long to be free...
I'm stuck between two realities. Veganism and the mainstream. I LOVE being vegan. I love what it stands for. I love feeling like I'm doing the most good for the planet, my health, animal kind. It's such a great feeling. And then there's the reality that I'm going SO against the grain of society. What is it about me that can't go with the crowd? Why do I think about things in ways most people don't? Why am I able to see things for what they really are, and so many people won't? I have a hard time thinking I'm more enlightened than anyone else, but I'm having an even harder time understanding why so many people know the truth, but choose to ignore it. How can you say you care about the environment when animal agriculture is the most caustic and damaging entity on the planet? How can you say you love animals, but contribute to the death and destruction of so many thinking/feeling beings? I simply don't understand. I know for me, it was all about denial. I tried not to think about it, but the guilt was always there. I feel liberated now. I'm free. I'm living the life I should be. That I should have been living all along. I know I talk about this regularly, mainly because it's always on my mind. I don't think less of people who aren't vegan, but I would love nothing more than for everyone to be vegan. I want veganism to be mainstream. I'm tired of feeling like an oddball, but not tired enough to not be vegan. I'll find a way to be totally comfortable in my oddity. Perceived oddity, because I don't think there's anything wrong with me.
I'm definitely a lot happier with our home since we fixed it up a little. I'm still working on our room. I freshened up our bedroom, there's still some organizational work and cleaning to do in the bathroom. I'm very pleased with myself for keeping our closet clean. It's been months since I went through and got rid of everything I didn't wear anymore, and it's stayed perfect. I'm also pleased with myself for not replacing everything I got rid of. I love buying new clothes, but there's nothing I need.
I'm off tomorrow, an I can't decide if I want to work on getting our room finished, or if I want to go on an adventure. I suppose I'll see how I'm feeling in the morning. There's time enough in the day to do both, if only I could curb my desire to procrastinate.
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