Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-09-28 06:49:06 (UTC)

Peace or Panic

It was another beautiful morning, waking up on my own terms, feeling well-rested and peaceful. I don't know why some mornings I wake up feeling uneasy, stressed, on edge. It doesn't make sense to me. Especially when there's really nothing in my life (at the moment/knock on wood) that would cause me to feel that way. It just happens. Almost as soon as I open my eyes, I either feel peace or panic. Never an in-between. Peace is preferable, anyhow, so I'll continue to focus on that, and be thankful for the days when I feel most at ease.

I left early to stop at Central Market, because I wanted to get Kaitlin a flower arrangement. I had the florist arrange some really pretty green and purple flowers (I have no idea what they're called) in a mason jar vase, then she tied it all up with a bow. It was too cute. It looked expensive, but only cost me $20. That's what I love about getting flowers at Central. They only charge you for the vase and the flowers, no extra charge for the florist's expertise. If you ask. If you purchase one of the pre-arranged custom arrangements they have for sale, they're almost always twice as much. There was one similar to the one I had made, going for $43. I couldn't tell you why. None of the flowers in it looked expensive. The vase was even smaller.

I was hoping for a good day in sales since yesterday was kind of bad. But today wasn't a whole lot better. I have a good jump on the week, but if I keep having sucky days like I'm having this week, I can kiss my buffer goodbye. We had a meeting tonight, and I was recognized for having the highest percentage of bras (76% of my sales are bras), and the highest sales per hour ($379/hr on the month). Not too shabby. I can do better, though. There's always room for improvement. I'm not beating myself up, or saying that isn't good. It is. I'm well over my expected sales plan, but I know I can still do better. During the meeting I was also voted "Angel of the Month" by my peers (basically like employee of the month, but it's based on what the associate body decides, not management). That feels really nice, because most of the time I don't feel like anyone actually likes me. I'm an anomaly. I'm respected, and admired, but not really "liked". Most of the time that doesn't bother me. Being liked isn't something I hold in high regard, but on occasion I find myself wondering why people don't like me. What is it about me? My openness, and willingness to go against the grain? Perhaps. But that isn't something I'm willing to change about myself. I stand for what I believe in. Even if that's the right to believe in nothing at all.

I took the time to diffuse my hair this morning. I used the DevaFuser attachment I spent $45 on, but never use. I LOVE what it did for my curls, and it was nice not leaving the house with soaking wet hair. I need to take the extra 10-15 minutes in the morning to dry my hair. I felt much more pulled together. I know you can't get sick from having wet hair, but I think I'd be more comfortable not walking around with wet hair all winter. Last year my hair was short and dried fast. This year, I have twice as much, which takes forever to dry. The volume and definition is enticing enough to keep me going with the diffusing.

I'm off tomorrow. For the first time in awhile I wasn't counting down the days until my next day off. Work isn't as bad as I make it out to be in my head. I just really like my time off. I don't know what I'm going to do with it tomorrow, but I know I'll be starting with some extra sleep. Who doesn't love sleeping in?




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