Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-09-26 07:13:21 (UTC)

Food Is Not My Captor

I think I slept a solid 12 hours last night. I woke feeling better than I have in several days (way closer to normal than even yesterday), but for some reason as the day progressed, I started losing my voice. I ended up leaving work 3 hours early because I had almost no voice at all. At least my squeaky, croaky, froggy voice was entertaining to my coworkers! But seriously, I need to be better tomorrow. Between it being slow, and me being yucky sounding, my sales numbers were garbage. One bad day isn't the end of the world. Especially since I'm having such a great month.

After leaving work, I stopped at Central Market to buy myself some pity party groceries. Daiya fire roasted veggie pizza, my favorite Amy's mac and cheese, cookie dough ice cream, and hot fudge sauce. I ate the mac and cheese, one small slice of pizza, and two little scoops of ice cream with some hot fudge sauce. I remember old me would have eaten all of everything. I thought it was what I wanted, but really what I needed had nothing to do with food. Which, is becoming the case more and more lately. I'm no longer a slave to food, and it's such a liberating feeling. Food is not my captor. I can be happy or sad or anything else, and not need to eat those feelings.

I ran a hot bath with sea salt and eucalyptus bath salts, and soaked for a couple hours (yes, hours) with a cup of green tea, listening to Sam Smith Pandora, messaging with Corey. It's exactly what I needed. Even though Corey and I talked about veganism (and I could sense that he has some objections), he's still soothing to talk to. Our differences aren't as apparent as our similarities.

By the time I got out of the tub, Snookums was home. I kind of felt like I wanted to have some intimate-time with him, but he said no. He's too tired. That was over an hour ago and he's still awake. Watching tv, drinking chocolate milk. I can't help but wonder if this is what this quarter is going to be like. He said he's got a demanding class schedule (and work), so he's not going to have a lot of free time. I get that, but already? He's 3 days in. It's tough being in this situation. I get the stimulating conversation I need from Corey. Snookums is fine with that, but the physical intimacy I need, I'm only allowed to receive from Snookums, but he rarely wants to. I know it's not all about me, and I'm trying to be supportive, but man it's tough.




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