Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
I Am Unbothered
Something about today was different. I can't put my finger on what it was, but I just felt lighter. Like, a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Nothing has changed. In fact, there may even be a little more pressure on the horizon (work-related, of course). Yet, somehow I feel at peace. Like a rock in a river bed, I remain unmoved by the rippling waves around me. There were a few instances today that normally would have gotten my knickers in a bunch, but I didn't get upset. I am unbothered. I hope this isn't a fleeting occurrence. I would love to stay in a perpetual state of unbotheredness!
I'm starting to realize more and more that there is something very different about me. I used to be the type of person who cared very much about pleasing people. I needed the validation of being liked. I needed to be like everyone else. I was desperate to fit in, be part of the crowd, look and act like everyone else. Now, I'm having a hard time reconciling some of the behaviors and thought processes of the people around me. I live in a state of open-mindedness. I'm always learning, growing, thinking. Expanding my consciousness. I find some of the people in my life to be very close-minded. Set in their ways. Rigid. If you don't see things their way, well then you're WRONG. Everyone must think and feel the same as them. No one is allowed a differing opinion. They will belittle and verbally assault anyone who crosses them. It's sad. And the unfortunate part of it is that they THINK they're progressive in some way. Like, being vocal with their narrow-minded views is somehow tantamount to martyrdom. Nope, you're just a bigot. Sorry. I have made peace with the fact that I will always be the round peg in a world of square holes. I'll never fit in, and that's okay. I don't want to anymore.
In a fortuitous turn of events, my Y membership got cancelled. Last month when Snookums messed up our bank account, my auto pay didn't go through. They called me once while I was at work, but I forgot to call them back, and I haven't been in to work out since April, so it's not like I'm missing it at all. This month when the auto pay date rolled around, it didn't come out again. This time I'm not sure why, but I think it probably had something to do with last month still being outstanding. Something about the Y just doesn't do it for me anymore. I used to love going to the Bremerton Y, but I don't feel the same way about Haselwood. And now that I have no desire to lose weight, the motivation to go toil away on an elliptical is non-existent. I got an email from them saying that my membership had been terminated, and that if I wanted to reinstate it I could give them a call. But I don't want to. So, thanks Y. For doing what I should have done 4 months ago!
There is something I've been thinking about for awhile, but didn't pursue because I didn't want to incur the expense (along with the $60 Y membership I already wasn't using). Yoga classes. Not the half-assed ones at the Y, either (they all suck, and are always way overcrowded). Real yoga classes, at a yoga studio, with a dedicated yogi. Not the Zumba instructor who also teaches Yogafit. I found a hot yoga studio just up the street, and I'm seriously considering getting a membership there. I'm going to try the unlimited week trial first to see how I like hot yoga (I've never done it, but I've wanted to since I first heard about it), then decide if I want to go that route, or stick with regular yoga. I'm excited about it! I think it will be much more satisfying than anything I'd been doing at the Y.
Ad: