rainy

My heart in a knot
2015-08-20 18:43:40 (UTC)

I accepted the job?!?

So forget about the fast food job, and forget about the learning center job, one fell through and the other one I was only accepting out of desperation.


Today I accepted the position for the first job I started applying for, the one that took months, 2 assessments, a drug test, and a interview... all in the wrong order of course. So the thing about this job is that it's HARD work, the pay is great, but the word is HARD and I cannot stress that enough. To be honest I didn't really know what I signed up for at first, but the more I started to research the job I began to become more frightened. Can I do this job? am I tall enough? am I strong enough? will I be able to stand the pressure and demands of the job??


I'm honestly terrified. I've been reading other people's reviews about this job and they all talk about how stressful it is but they also talk about good things as well. To be honest many of the reviews were mixed, some people hated it and some loved it. My only worry and concern is rather I can do this job.


By the way there are women who work this job as well, but the ones I've seen aren't as petite as me, this job requires driving and although I can drive I have to set my own car to my hight comfort so that I can drive safely, I'm worried the vehicle I drive won't have these accommodations and I'll look ridiculous and have to leave the job. I just imagine during training how I will look if I can't reach the pedals and everyone is looking at me, or what if I'm not strong enough to lift something on my own??


These things frighten me but I shouldn't worry, it will not be the end of the world if I can't do these things and I have to leave the job. This job is one of Americas largest employees so I imagine I am not the first short woman in it's history to apply for the job. So I will not worry.. I will carry on and if it doesn't work out then maybe it's not the job for me and I'll find something better. Anyway I have to focus on the GRE which I have gotten back into the practice of studying everyday, I will need to take the test this year, hopefully in October or November.


The biggest reason why I'm excited about the job is honestly the pay, so I am willing to force myself to gain the strength to work the job because they pay a living wage, I have never made a living wage where I am able to afford to keep myself stable without any accommodations, plus I'm finding it hard to find a job with just my BA degree...


I'm going to give it my best and if I have to leave then I just will...


My sister still hasn't said anything about moving back in...I kind of feel frustrated because I sent her a text today about if she was planning on getting her stuff or not, all she really said is that she is busy. I don't know if I should take it as a sign she is considering moving back in or if she just wants to wait a while.. either way if she stops by this weekend I'll tell her again that I'm ok with her moving back if she wants.


Today I cleaned up her room and I'm going to the store tomorrow to get some supplies to fix the broken window and put some curtains up. I don't know why she never thought to fix all of the things that were broken in her room or at least call our dad to fix it. Her door doesn't shut properly and I took a look at it and I believe it is mostly the latch is so old it won't hold, so I'm going to replace it with a cheap door handle, the top of the door also needs to be sanded down a little because that is also why the door won't shut properly; this entire house has a unbalanced foundation which causes some areas to be higher and lower instead of a flat surface.. I can't wait until I can afford to move out on my own.


Well I need to go study. By the way my job isn't "finalized" yet, they did offer me the job and I did accept it, but they have a few more steps to take until I actually get started.




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