Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
My Contribution to the Cause
Man, it was hard getting myself going today. Keenan asked last night (as I was sending him off to bed) if we could cuddle today. Me being a woman of my word (and because I missed it so much, and really wanted to anyway) I said yes. So, we laid in bed, watched cartoons and cuddled until it was time for me to go to work. I so didn't want to go. Every fiber of my being wanted to stay home and old Keenan while he napped, but I went. Work is never as bad as I make it out to be in my head. I just have to get there and get into my groove.
Sue left this morning. I can't say I was glad to see her go. A tiny part of me feels bad for not enjoying her company, but she makes me feel that way! I know she loves me. She of course loves Snookums, and she's a wonderful grandmother to her grandchildren, but from the moment I met her, she's rubbed me the wrong way. I don't want to feel like this, but sometimes she just makes me SO mad. I don't feel like dwelling on it. I want to acknowledge that I feel this way, but work on my tolerance and being a better person towards her. I know she doesn't mean any harm.
So, I've decided that I'm a shitty vegan activist. Tonight I was scrolling through my newsfeed and one of my new vegan friends (we're in a veganism group together. They requested me) posted a video of a cow getting his throat cut. His head is locked into some sort of clamp and you can see the pain and fear in his eyes, as he gasped for air, thrashing in panic. It was gut wrenching and heartbreaking. I don't handle death well. It doesn't help that Facebook has started automatically playing videos in my newsfeed whether I want them to or not. I wasn't expecting to see that, and I definitely wasn't mentally prepared. Ugh. It kills me...
I know the reasons why vegans post videos like that. I get why they show pictures of torture and abuse. I get it. Really. Once people snap out of their dissonant slumber, seeing images like that help convert some people to vegetarianism, and hopefully veganism. I just can't be the person who shows that to someone, though. I'm such a bleeding heart. I've decided that leading by example will have to be my contribution to the cause. I will answer questions about what it's like living vegan. I will help with dietary questions, recipes, all of that. But I will not post graphic content.
I'm going to do my best to get that image out of my head, and hope I don't dream about it. It's been a couple of weeks since I've needed cannabis to sleep, but I'm almost considering just taking a few hits tonight so I don't dream. Or if I do, I'll be less likely to remember about what.
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