rainy

My heart in a knot
2015-08-10 17:51:31 (UTC)

Cry baby...

First off I want to say that I'm hating living alone, it's the worst, and it's eerily quiet. I didn't think it would be this bad at first but when I'm here I just get really emotional and feel like crying.

I was up nearly all night last night crying and worrying, I got the worst sleep ever and didn't get to study my words for the GRE at all. I had a headache for the most of the day because when I cry too much that's what happens.


Today I had gone to my parents house to wash my outfit for my job interview tomorrow (because my sister took the washer and dryer), it was not a positive experience to say the least. After being away from there for so long that house seemed so different from what I once knew, I also saw something very important... my sister most likely gets her tendency to have clutter from my parents. I hadn't realized how much stuff my parents have all crammed into one space, they have such a nice property but the house is an absolute mess. The dogs have started to chew at the stair case, the plumbing is leaking, the yard is a mess..


I was just there looking at that house and I realized that I was being way too hard on my sister about being more neat. Now don't get me wrong, some stuff she did really was annoying to me, like leaving food sitting around on the stove for weeks, but still, I criticized her from my own point of view and we never made a compromise. My problem is that over the years I've started to hate clutter and junk, I've become more organized and clean.


Either way it's difficult to reach my sister now. I already imagine her having so much more fun where she's at now..


While I was at the house my dad also told me that my moms dog died.. he said a hawk picked it up and threw it in a pond... but for some reason I just don't believe his story. The dog was small but not that small, not enough for a bird to pick up and take away. But why would he lie? and what really happened?...

Well, the only reason I'm able to write right now is because my sister still hasn't disconnected her service so I'll be able to write until she does. My job interview is tomorrow and I haven't had any other prospects yet but I'll remain hopeful. I really need to start working. The only thing I don't like about my job interview tomorrow is that it is in downtown, and downtown never has any parking! I'm going to have to drive around in circles until I find a space, that means I'm going to have to leave early so I have enough time to drive around until I can find a spot. I really am hoping that this interview goes well... if it doesn't then I'll just have to continue my search.




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