Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-08-06 06:46:36 (UTC)

In Over My Head

I love being vegan. I really do. For the first time in a very long time I feel totally at peace with myself and the way I'm choosing to live. There is little conflict in my soul. Almost as if a huge weight has been lifted. An unspoken guilt I've harbored for a very long time, but have tried to remain complacent about. I was just as removed from where my food was coming from as the majority of humanity, except I wasn't okay with it. I just tried not to think about it. With that being said, I think I my be in over my head. I'm trying to reach out and make more vegan friends. I don't have a single one in the area, or that I can see or speak to other than via social media. So, I've joined some local (Seattle area) vegan groups in the hopes of meeting others "like me"... and then I remembered that I'm not social. All the things that make most vegans good at being vegan hinge on their social activism. I don't have any desire to convert meat eaters to veganism. I'm doing it because it's what feels right to MY soul. I don't feel like it's my duty to "convert" others. In fact, I struggle with the realization that I don't even LIKE a lot of the vegans in the groups I'm in. Tonight, one of them even blocked me because apparently he didn't like that I called him out on his asinine comments (he tried convincing everyone that plants have feelings, too. In the same way animals and humans do... right). I'd gotten away from all of that shit when I cut a bunch of groups out of my life. Now I've picked it back up again *sigh* I need to think about how I want to handle this. Easily a dozen vegans from various groups have friend requested me, and I want to be happy about that, but I fear the drama. I don't want it!

Tonight starts my 3 days off/mini vacation from work. Sadly, we have nothing planned. We're going to Seattle on Friday to visit with a friend, but other than that, we have nothing really set in stone. I still haven't gotten back into therapy, so tomorrow I'm on my own. Snookums has school and work until close. So, I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself. Maybe go hiking, take myself out to eat. I don't know. I've been wanting to go up to Country Aire. Despite hating living in Port Angeles, I find myself drawn to the Olympic Peninsula when I have the time to escape. It's more conducive to the life I live, but work and reality are here in Kitsap. So, when I can, I escape. Its nice getting away from the constant hustle and bustle.




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