Screened In Porch

Life in general
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2015-08-06 02:43:22 (UTC)

Starting my novel

So last night, after having some issues getting the pages here
to load, I decided to go ahead and pull up some blank pages
and started my novel. Been thinking about it for a while and
now it is started. No name yet for the novel itself or the
first chapter, so I just called it the first chapter.

It started out when I was very young standing in the patrol car
holding on the the top of the seat looking back as our parents
got smaller and smaller in the distance. I felt no fear, I was
not sad at all, in fact I do remember feeling relief. I did not
know what was happening but I was sure where ever we were headed
was safer than where we were leaving.

I remembered too at a very young age that there was wrong and
there was right, good and bad. The difference of the two was
living inside of me and I knew that difference.

Not knowing anything about the world going into the unknown
was a welcomed adventure for me. I was sure it would be ok.
I forgot them so fast, and all of the memories of that life
were out of my head from that day on. I was good for me.

No more hunger, feeling cold, crawling into cabinets looking
for food, and no more walking barefoot in the snow in search
for a warm spot to lay down. All that was over.

My first real cherished wonderful thing was being held in
some old ladies lap as she rocked me to sleep, then being
laid into a bed of clean sheets and a nice pillow. I was
in heaven. Never had experienced anything like it. But
always remembered that feeling it brought and how important
it was to hold your children and love them.

To stay sober so you can hold them and keep them safe.

I was never safe.

And my novel will reveal all the deep dark secrets that
have held me back from life. But no more.