Screened In Porch

Life in general
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2015-07-28 14:29:41 (UTC)

Losing people all around me.

I put this as private recently because I once again felt that someone
close to me was reading my diary post. I really want to remain anonymous.

I have also deactivated facebook again. I just can not bare the
silly shit that people reveal about themselves. It is ridiculous.

A couple days ago, that dumb ass jock from HS posted a silly rant
about people who use handicap parking when in his view, they simply
do not need it. He apparently saw a man getting out of his car
walking with a limp and came to his own conclusion that this man
did not require handicap parking, he could have walked farther
and allowed that space to be for someone who in his view, really
needed it. He has posted crap like this before. Before, when he
did, I opposed him explaining that I do not look handicap at all.
I do not walk with a limp and my handicap is not one that one may
notice as many other handicap people. For instance, if someone
has a heart condition, or has a pace maker, or RA, fibromyalgia..
none of which you can see just by looking at them. He went on
and on and really went to far this time.

My blood pressure went through the roof and I realized then that
this is ridiculous. I deactivated. Why...if I had started
a rant back at him, there was no winning against a complete
idiot. He will learn someday when he or one of his loved ones
need a handicap parking sticker. I just could not handle it.
I could have defriended him, but honestly, it is so close to
the election and I was planning on deactivating anyway...
I am sick of it.

I have friends who are on there that can fill me in on anything
that comes up that I may need to know. I also deactivated
my husbands account. He has lots of people on there from
HS and was getting friend request. He does not know I set it
up for him and I was afraid he would be mad if he ran into
one of them and they ask about it. OOPS...bad move.

Should have never set it up in the first place.


I learned last night that my BFF with all the cousins is a cousin
of that young girl who died this weekend from the horse riding
accident. It is so sad. Another young person from that girls
church also died this past weekend from a ATV accident. Too
much for one to handle.

My son knows the mother of the girl....he wants to go to the
service. I told him last night we could go together...and told
my BFF that we can send food, flowers, whatever she thought
was needed.

Right now, she has not been calling me too much...probably hurt
her feelings after one of her 4 hour rants on the phone going
on and on about people I do not know...she does not give me
a chance to say much...if I really want to say something to
her I have to say it in a text....but even her text are long
drawn out and include information about situations I know
nothing about and people too. Not sure if it was a mistake
to say anything....may have been.

That long lost cousin I mentioned who I was showing property
too...for almost two years...has not called either. It was
most likely a mistake to tell her bout the foster family
connection...I wish I had not done that. She has probably
been on the phone discussing me...and none of those people
were ever very nice to me as a child. I was treated like
shit....then. Now I have allowed them to knock me down
again. Live and learn...

backing away from the people who have power to hurt me...
backing away from the social media that reveals...who
could hurt me....and backing away from people from the
past who simply have turned into a problem instead
of a joy.

I just can not take it anymore...