Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-07-20 07:10:06 (UTC)

Fuck Them. And Fuck That

I've been sitting in bed for the past 4 hours contemplating why it is people seem to like me less these days. I can't win, really. When I was struggling in one of the deepest depressions I've been in probably in my entire life, I lost friends because I was a downer. Now that I've done all this hard work to pull myself out of that deep, dark, scary place, people don't like me for other reasons. I'm not entirely sure what those reasons are, but I've just noticed that people are pulling away from me. Not everyone, but a few. I don't like using Facebook as a barometer, but I've been getting unfriended at a record pace lately. After much consideration and contemplation, I've come to two conclusions:

Fuck them.
And fuck that.

I don't need those people in my life. Who the fuck needs people around who aren't happy that you're happy?! Who aren't thrilled to see you loving yourself, taking care of yourself, and promoting what you feel passionate about? I think being an open Non-theist/Atheist/Buddhist and also vegan has something to do with it, too. I've always ascribed to this belief system, I've just never been quite as vocal about it as I have been lately. I don't see the problem. I have Christian friends that plaster that shit around like wallpaper. Why can't I share quotes from Buddha? That's the kind of thing that makes me feel supported and inspired. I can appreciate bible verses, even if I don't believe in God. I know plenty of people who appreciate Buddhist quotes, even if they are believers in God. Inspiration can be found in many places. It's exhausting to wonder what it is about me that people don't appreciate. So, I'm just not going to let it concern me anymore.

I sent a message to someone who unfriended me apologizing just in case I said or did something that offended her. But then also mentioned that if she unfriended me because she didn't like me, that was okay, too. It was great closure for me, and I hope it makes her feel uncomfortable :) Okay, I don't, but it did make me feel better. Honestly, it's no great loss. I didn't even friend request her. And that's usually how it goes. People friend request me, hang around for a few months, then unfriend me. Like once they get into my inner circle, the mystery of who I am is solved, and they can move on. Facebook should offer an exit interview, so we can gather insight into what it is people find annoying about us. It could be pretty insightful.

I have a headache. I had another day of less than stellar nutrition. I'm not putting in the effort I need to to ensure I'm getting everything I need. I'm being a lazy vegan. I'm also not drinking enough water. Hence the headache, I'm sure. I'll do better tomorrow. I did better today than I did yesterday, and I'll do better tomorrow than I did today. One day at a time.




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