Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-07-14 06:14:29 (UTC)

In the Moments of Life

Today I was torn. Between laying in bed, reading my book and being productive. Laziness almost prevailed, but Snookums checked the mail and there was a check from his mother he wanted me to take to the bank. So, I was coaxed out of bed.

I'm about 40 pages away from finishing And Their Eyes Were Watching God. Which is perfect timing, because Harper Lee's new book releases tomorrow. I think I want to buy both To Kill A Mockingbird and Go Set A Watchman. It's been 15 years since I read To Kill A Mockingbird, and I think I want to reread it before reading the companion book. I also need to reacquaint myself with it to see if its something Kiki can read. Her reading level isn't the question. It's the subject matter.

After the bank, I took the kids to Silverdale Waterfront Park to play at the playground for a little while. As I was sitting on the bench watching them, I took a moment to enjoy the place I was in. The breeze blowing smelt faintly of the sea (the sound is feet away from the play area), the sun was filtering thorough the clouds. It was warm, but not hot. Lately, I've been trying harder to take in the moments of life. There is so much to be grateful for. So much of my life I've been locked in my pain. When I was in the grips of my depression, I would balk at the notion that happiness was a choice. If depression wasn't a choice (and it most certainly wasn't), then how could happiness be reduced to such a simplistic notion? Now that I've got a better handle on my mental wellness, I can see the merit in choosing happiness. Often there is an option in the mind. Do I follow the path of pessimism, or do I actively choose to remain positive and allow those seeds to flourish? More often than not I'm taking the positive path. Not because it's always easier, but because ultimately, I know it's better for me.

Snookums and I went out to dinner at our favorite Vietnamese restaurant. I love Pho, and hadn't realized how long it's been since we had it! It was nice getting out together and having a chance to talk with one another (even if Snookums spent most of the meal watching some stupid ninja warrior competition on the tv over my head). Mostly, I just talked through my feelings about work, Laura's visit tomorrow, and my acceptance about the possible outcomes of my interview tomorrow. Like I mentioned last night, I'm okay regardless of what happens. I will not spontaneously combust if I don't get the job. The pros and cons of each position (current and possible) are pretty neck and neck.

I've set out my clothes for tomorrow, made myself a cup of tea, and I've meditated on it today. I'm ready. As ready as I can be. Prepared for any outcome. And can I just say, it feels great. Learning to let go has been one of the greatest gifts I could ever give myself.




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