Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Zeus and Zephyr
I'm not sure why, but all day people have been asking me if I'm okay, or if something's wrong. Nothing's wrong. I don't feel sad, or worried about anything. My general mental state is good. I'm feeling peaceful and positive, which is all I can really ask of myself. So, I'm not sure why more than one person felt that I looked or seemed unhappy. Resting Bitch Face was definitely getting the better of me today.
I really didn't want to go to work this morning. Not because work has been a burden (because it hasn't, at all). I was just so sore from yesterday's hike. My right hip, my back, and a bonus injury that's cropped up over the past week or so: My left Achilles tendon, yay! There's a definite burning sensation first thing in the morning, or after I've been sitting for awhile. The collection of semi-serious physical ailments I'm amassing is almost comical! What more can I handle before my body completely and totally falls apart? And yet, I'm still feeling generally optimistic, and content. I can't remember a time when I've felt better than I do right now. I fear saying that out loud. The universe may see fit to shift my good fortune. But after the run of unfortunate luck I'd been having, I feel entirely entitled to some good fortune for awhile. I've worked hard to get where I am right now. I put in daily work. Happiness isn't a destination, it truly is a journey. And this journey will never end.
I had a very surreal moment this evening before Snookums came home. I was in our bathroom. The house was totally quiet. Kids were asleep, no TV or music on. Not even Snookum's fan. Just total silence. The window was open, because it's been so warm lately, and I could have sworn I heard Zeus meow. Just once, but it sounded just like him! Zeus went missing back in April while I was in Hawaii. We'd seen him for a couple weeks after he got out, but no one has seen or heard from him for a couple months now. He was 19 years old and his health was starting to fail. I don't expect he could have lived very long outside without his wet food and goat's milk. Anyhow, after hearing this eerily similar (to his) meow, I ran for the laundry room door, to go outside between the house and garage to see if I could find him. I called his name, I walked around the garage. Nothing. Not another meow, no rustling in the bushes. Just silence. I felt a little creeped, like someone or something was watching me. So, I came back inside. When I came into the kitchen, EVERY cat was sitting there, wide-eyed and meowing. Even kitties who don't normally have much to say. I'm not saying Zeus's spirit visited us, but what if? I don't NOT believe in spirits. Anything's possible, right?
When Snookums got home from work shortly after, I told him what happened and had a good cry. Unlike a lot of the sadness's that have befallen me, I let myself feel this one. The loss of my friend of 12 years. My first kitty/pet as an adult. The sweet fur ball that kept me company when Snookums had duty. The kitty I loved longer than I've had two of my children. I let all the feelings come out. He held me while I cried, and then Zephyr came up to me and started rubbing his head against my arm. He demanded that I pick him up, and when I did, he wrapped his paws around my neck and purred into my whole body. His head on my shoulder, chest to chest. His deep vibrations felt so healing. I believe that purrs are medicine. This time was no exception. I held him until all the feelings were felt, and when I had calmed down, he asked to be set down. Even though I've lost an old friend (and I think tonight I fully accepted it), I have a wonderful friend in Zephyr. I love all of my cats, but there's just something magical about Zephyr.
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