My Letter To The World
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2015-07-10 06:20:15 (UTC)


My last entry here was quick and full of frustration and I couldn't even properly articulate how I was/am feeling.
Ha... not so sure I'm going to do a better job now...but now I've actually had rest and food.
Music and some reading time so...things are a bit better feeling then they were before.

The talk Hannah and Brandyce and I had went okay...I think B realizes that she has to earn back trust after all the lieing and after the stealing.
I tested her saying that I loved her that I'd always be there for her and that I'm of course still her friend but she never responded which isn't the best sign but...sigh there's nothing I can do about that or this whole situation.
It's impossible to trust someone who lies to you and or about you instantly right after they did it. It takes time to rebuild trust that's just the way it is.
And I'm having a hard time with all this...still.
I don't do well with lieing and betrayal. Who does?
I think the counseling that B is doing with mom is helping a lot. Ugh fingers crossed.

Thank God its Friday and there will be other people around to take care of those...kids.
Gah...today sucked for the most part I love Chloe but she is...Loud and a handful and just doesn't know when to quit.
I had a pretty much constant head ache today thanks to the combined effort of three children...other people's children lol.

mom leaves for the week Monday for her classes.
back Saturday and then gone for the week again.
Then I leave for Africa! As nervous as I am about that trip I am looking forward to getting out of here for a while.
I think it will be good for me.... my only regret is that I may not be able to write here...ugh...I may die.
this is...therapy. lol

Anyways I think I will drink my melted ice cream and try to get some sleep...uh if I can get over seeing that stupid spider on my wall I don't know where it went!!!! Ahhhhhhh! Someone come save me!
I'm defusing peppermint oil...and practically sprayed my wall with it(spiders hate peppermint)
Good thing you can't get high from it or I'd be so far gone right now....

okay then pray no spiders go anywhere near me in the night!
I pray the same for you.