Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Slow and Easy
What a good day today was. As I was living it, I couldn't help but think about how different it was from my normal sphere of life. It just wasn't an ordinary day. I woke up this morning feeling so good. There's nothing better than waking up on your own accord, no alarm clock telling you how to live your life. I laid in bed for awhile, talking to Snookums until the kids came crashing in. Really, that's how I want to wake up every day. Slow and easy.
Snookums had a few errands to run (he needed to drop off an old text book at the UPS store, and then pick up a new text book at the UPS customer service office. Something was wrong with our address on the package). Once he was done doing that, we took the kids to the Evergreen Rotary Park in Bremerton (since we were in the neighborhood). A couple years ago they build a really cool new playground that's designed to be exceptionally safe and accessible to even handicapped children. Its really awesome. We spent two hours there, playing. Snookums wasn't in the best mood for some reason. I tried cheering him up, but he just wanted to sit on a bench and watch. I went on the coolest seesaw I've ever seen (it was like four lawn chairs on springs, with the best hydraulics), and pushed the kids on the swings. Being outside, hanging out with my kids. It's medicine, I tell you.
We came home after stopping at Trader Joe's for dinner stuffs. I made Arrabiata sauce with mushrooms and sweet onion over black bean pasta. There's something so comforting about a tomato sauce over pasta. Whatever variation it takes. The kids loved it. They're getting so great about trying new things. It turned out amazingly, so they didn't have to be too brave today. I just love that I can cook one meal (it being vegan and gluten free) and they'll still eat it with me. If I've only done one thing right, it's the way I'm raising them. I've never thought rather highly of myself, but I feel like I'm doing a decent job guiding these young people... The rest of the evening the kids and I colored and read books while Snookums did his homework. It was just a really awesome family day. I need more days like this in my life!
So, I totally goofed up. Remember how I wanted to play hooky from therapy so I could go hiking tomorrow? Normally I make my appointments a couple months out. Usually, the day before my appointment I'll get a confirmation call from my therapist's office. I didn't today. Which got me to thinking "am I out of appointments?" I found the little card with my appointment times on it, and sure enough, the 2nd was my last scheduled appointment. I don't actually have an appointment tomorrow. I'm kind of at a crossroads when it comes to continuing therapy. Lately I've really been struggling with whether or not I need to keep going. But then I keep telling myself that this is my usual pattern. I'll start to feel better, and I'll think I'm "cured" and don't need help anymore. Then I spiral out of control and end up having to start over. I can't do anything about tomorrow, but I need to call and get some more appointments on the books. I can't stop now. I don't want to backslide!
My back pain has really been stupid the past couple days. It's affecting my lumbar spine, my right hip, and my entire right leg, all at the same time. I can barely walk at times, and sitting still for too long is agony. Even sitting in bed writing this is so uncomfortable. I keep whining about it, but I just really don't want to go to the doctor. It's the one thing in my life I can't seem to get a handle on. Everything else is awesome. I'm hoping tomorrow's hike does me some real good. Even though it can be really tough around mile 5, usually my back is better for it for a little while afterwards. Fingers crossed!
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