Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-07-02 07:52:29 (UTC)

I Got Over It

I woke up this morning not feeling super great. I can't say for sure what was wrong. I just felt a little weak, and still tired. But I sucked it up and got ready for work. By the time I got there I was feeling slightly better. I got just as much sleep as I usually do (I make sleep a priority. 7-8 hours/night minimum) so, I don't know what was different. I accept that there are things in life that don't always make sense. I got over it.

I had another great performance day at work. My current frame of mind is working out very well. Everyday I set out to do my best, but I also allow for leeway. Some days won't be as good as others, but if I put forth my best each day, it's all I can really expect of myself. It's paying off. I definitely feel like work is less of a drain on my emotional resources.

I came home and spent the evening with the kids. I don't love that Snookums seems to be on a closing shift schedule, because I don't too much time with him, but I'm still grateful that he's working. I'm thankful for this job. Not just for the money, but because it genuinely brings him happiness. He's contributing to the family again. Not just his VA benefits, but from his own efforts.

More and more lately, I've been thinking about my life and the emotional changes I've been working on. It's hard to look back at myself last year and remember how painful life was. I was so raw. Every emotion was like an open wound. My soul was hemorrhaging. I'm just glad I was able to pull myself out of it. There was no one fully aware of how close I came to ending the suffering. Except, maybe Corey. I confided in him the most. I felt like he was the only one who could fully appreciate my loss, because it was his loss, too. Anyhow, I'm finally feeling like those days are behind me (totally). I have nothing but good things ahead of me. The pain of the past will never totally go away, but I can look back on it with less sorrow. It's really all I could ask for.

I want to get up tomorrow morning and head up to PT for a bit (before therapy). I don't know if that'll happen, but I really want to go to Phoenix Rising for incense and healing beads. If I get up when Snookums leaves for school, it should be enough time!




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