rainy

My heart in a knot
2015-06-21 10:32:00 (UTC)

just a break

It's been officially 2 weeks since my last day working and cabin fever is just starting. My official last day was the 14th but I didn't go to work that day because I noticed I had already been out of their system so I figured there was some type of misunderstanding, either way it was only a 4 hour shift so I don't think it would of been a problem plus I wouldn't of been able to work anyway if they had already deleted my info.


These past 2 weeks of nothing working have been just what I needed. I've started to cook more healthy raw foods (I made a zucchini pasta), I've also started to workout more and get some sunshine/fresh air. I still have to make improvements in my cognitive, social, and intellectual abilities but I'm slowly working on that.


Now that I'm starting to feel "done" with this break from working (because I need some social interaction) I think I will go ahead and start putting in job applications around the city to see what/if I find anything. I will be keeping track of how many jobs I apply to and if I receive any calls back. I'm doing this because I've heard stories of people who claim to have put in over 1,000 applications and still didn't get a job, when I hear that I just can't help but to wonder if they may be something wrong with them or if people really just aren't hiring because it seems at least one place should have an opening.


Either way, my current plan is to try to get a job within my field or at least working with SPSS, the other day I had logged into the system and discovered that I've forgotten a lot of it already! that was very depressing, not only that but many of the concepts and theories I don't quite have down completely, not enough to make me competitive in my field so my application could be easily over looked because of that. That's why I'm deciding to try and "teach" the material to others via social networking to help me keep everything fresh in my mind. Plus I hear that if you really want to practice and remember something that teaching it is one of the best methods.


I've at least been having a lot of fun with my new camera (canon sx 520), the zoom on it is amazing! it takes a bit more work to catch moving subjects even though it has a shutter speed option, that is the only thing that doesn't compare to my Nikon. But it has great features that make up for that which I love since I'm trying to get more creative (I've read that creativity helps in many areas), plus it's just something that brings my stress levels down and keeps me actively engaged in something besides the Internet.

Of course ideally I would like to actually go out with my camera instead of just taking photos at home, there is so much out there to photograph but it's been unreasonably hot these last few days so I'm thinking in August and September I will really take it out and photograph this city that I've been living in all my life (but ironically I don't know much about)


Speaking of it being hot, that's one of the reasons I've been worried to go out, I still seem to be having heart arrhythmias as well as an accelerated heart rate under certain conditions, these are the things that they doctors keep trying to convince me is is stress or anxiety, but this is different, it's like my body is going to crash and just stop working. I've began to worry I could be having an issue with something within my brain, maybe a block or something.....


Either way I was lucky enough to find a blood pressure monitor for only $25 on clearance at the grocery store! so I've been using it regularly and what I have found is that my diastolic blood pressure is high, I've been getting readings of 120/89 which is considered pre-hypertension based on their new standards. This is also the reason why I've started to eat more raw foods and I will be cutting out meat for the next month as well as sweets. Hopefully by the end of July I will have lower readings and my arrhythmias will go away. I'm adding more tomatoes and onions to my diet as well as cutting out bread for a while. Today for lunch I will have a salad with tomatoes, I don't yet know what dressing I will use for it, I really want to learn to make my own dressings.


I'm also going to be taking a nutrition class, it's the last class I need before graduation and it's during the best time because I'm ready to change my diet again to cut out all of the frozen and processed foods I've been eating as well as know what nutrients my body needs to be getting regularly.


Speaking of graduation, my application is in and paid for, now I guess they will review it and let me know if I'm clear for graduation, if I'm not clear for graduation then I still will have the fall to fix things but hopefully I'm clear for graduation so I can go and move on with my life. I feel hopeful for what the future will bring but of course I also feel uncertainty.


I guess I'll go now and do my sit-ups for the day. I'm trying to get abs, or at least have a flatter stomach, I've found that working my legs everyday helps me not feel so tired during the day.





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