Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-06-21 07:17:31 (UTC)

This is the Future

Here I am, procrastinating when it comes to writing (as usual), but I'm getting sleepy so I'd better get to it...

I did what I told myself I would this morning. I got up, made my morning smoothie, then came back to bed to read The Book of Awakening. The kids came in for cuddles, so I didn't get to read as long as I'd have liked, but it was worth the distraction. I managed to read 3 day's worth, and I went back and re-read a couple lessons that always warrant revisiting (dealing with overwhelming emotions). Once I was done with my smoothie, I got up and got dressed with a little more time to spare than I have been allowing myself. So, I got coffee and made it to work a little earlier than usual (and by earlier, I mean not 2 or 3 minutes late, hoping no one will notice).

I went into work in a positive mood. My disposition was good, until I encountered more and more idiot customers. I try not to be judgmental, but sometimes I can't help it. I feel like I dealt with a disproportionally higher number of stupid people than usual. Someone also left a pair of dirty panties under one of the fitting room rugs (and by dirty, I mean covered in shit). In all 9 years I've worked at VS, I have never seen something that disgusting. The blatant disregard for the person who had to clean that up really pisses me off. It wasn't me, but still. Not okay. The day didn't get much better after that. The only saving grace was that my sales were good. But I'm over caring about that anymore.

My interview for the new position is on Tuesday. Our district manager will be in the store that day, helping us prepare for our regional visit on Wednesday. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Whether I'm confident or not. I think I'd be a great fit for the position, but I worry that Laura won't think so. She didn't think I did a very good job in the temporary Lingerie Category Manager position. Yet, I'm not sure why. I never did find out what I was doing wrong. No one ever told me. Not even her. That failure still looms heavily in the back of my mind. I wasn't doing a good enough job to get the permanent position, but I was good enough to train the outside hire they brought in. But I digress. That's the past. This is the future, and a much different opportunity.

Sephora gave me a free sample of NARS matte velvet lip pencil in Cruella (a deep red with a hint of brown in it) as a birthday gift. There was a pale pink color too, but that one didn't even show up on my skin. Anyhow, I really love the color and the formulation. I've been using the free sample for the past few days, and I just love the way it looks and feels. I apply it at the beginning of my shift and even through lunch, coffee, etc. Its still perfect 8 hours later. I went back to Sephora tonight and bought the full-sized pencil. I want to get another color, too, but they were sold out in everything but the pale neutrals, which disappear on my skin. As I was leaving Sephora I caught a glimpse of myself in one of the mirrors that looked exactly like my mother. She always work red lipstick. It was her signature. I wear red lipstick fairly regularly, but something about this shade and the way my maturing face looks reminded me of her. I almost took the lipstick back, because it bothered me a lot. I don't want to look like my mother, but the older I get, the more I do. I can't believe everything she put me through. I forgive her, because I need to in order to be free, but Jesus she was a bitch. Wherever she is, I hope she's happy with herself and her shitty choices.




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