Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-06-12 05:37:23 (UTC)

It's Been Awhile

Another great day... I wish I wasn't dreading going to work tomorrow, but I am. I need to remind myself that it's never as bad as I make it out to be in my mind. Except I close tomorrow and closing is my least favorite thing. It doesn't matter. Remain positive, Jennifer. It isn't that bad. Maybe I should consider all of the truly awful shit in life when I'm dwelling on how much I don't want to go to work. It's not like I'm alone in that thinking. Millions (maybe billions) of people dread work.

Snookums and I went to Feulrz for lunch again (the natural café we went to last Thursday). I had a chef salad with gluten free/vegan ranch. It was really good... until I found a whole egg in my salad! Normally that wouldn't be an issue, but this salad was supposed to be vegan. Had I known egg was a possibility, I would have requested no egg. Not that it was a big deal, it just surprised me. Snookums had a gluten free peanut butter chocolate chip muffin and some of my salad. I'm really proud of how open he's been to trying new things. He's eaten everything I've cooked lately, going days without meat, eggs or dairy. I don't expect him to go vegan. I'm just really surprised at how supportive he's being. The first time I went vegan (years ago), he wanted no parts of it.

After lunch, was therapy. My Thursday ritual. I was kind of lacking bitching material, since I haven't been to work in a couple days. Instead we talked about Snookums' lack of clear direction and our constantly fluctuating financial situation. We're always okay, but sometimes more okay than at other times. I thrive under constant stability and security. With Snookums not working, I don't feel the same sense of security and stability as I do when he's working. I worry when my income is the only sure bet. I worry that something's going to affect his VA money, and I hate depending on it, but we totally do. Rent and car note would be tough without VA money. They're our biggest (but most important) bills. I can't worry about the future too much. It stresses me out, and I don't want to negate all of the progress I've made.

Monday is my sweet Keenan's birthday. He'll be 7! I can't believe it. It makes me sad, but proud at the same time. Keenan has grown so much this past year. He's a big boy now... anyhow, Keenan has been showing great interest in rocks, gemstones, crystals, etc. Whenever we go to the beach, he's scouring the shoreline for cool rocks and stones. Phoenix Rising has an amazing selection of gemstones and crystals. So, we took a little road trip up there to get him some for his birthday. After spending about 30 minutes sifting through all the gorgeous stones, we settled on 6: Opalite, Blue Calcite, Hematite, Tiger's Eye, an Agate Geode, and a Rose Quartz. I think he'll love them. I researched the healing properties of each stone, and plan on sharing that with him. I love gemstones and crystals. I wear them everyday and have even considered making my own jewelry. I'm glad he's showing an interest too.

Speaking of making my own jewelry, on the way home today I was thinking some more about what my therapist was talking about last week. Finding something that ignites my passion (professionally). Something I could do that would both fuel my need to feel significant, and would also more closely align with my beliefs and chosen lifestyle. I was thinking I could open my own little new age store (with books, crystals, incense, statues, singing bowls, etc.). All the stuff I love about Phoenix Rising, but in Kitsap County. It could also have a little vegan café and coffee shop. Maybe a room for gatherings, or yoga classes. It's just a dream. I most definitely don't have the start up capital to do something like that, but maybe one day. It's been a while since I had a dream...




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