Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-06-11 08:18:47 (UTC)

A Thousand Times

Today was one of those days I wish I could recreate over and over again, a thousand times. I get that everyday can't be a hedonistic day of pleasure, but if only...

I woke up this morning to a beautiful day. The sun was shining, birds chirping, and no plans. Nothing pressing needing my immediate attention. That in and of itself is lovely. I got up and made myself a smoothie (as usual), but instead of rushing off to get ready for work, I got to take it out onto the back porch and sit in the sun for a bit. I drank my smoothie, listened to the birds, and the wind blowing in the trees, all while soaking in the soothing sun rays. It was a fantastic start to my day.

Snookums had some essays to write for school, so I decided to go do a little grocery shopping for dinner stuff. I took a leisurely shower, put on a pretty dress and left. I love being able to go out by myself. Even though being out and about is technically being in public, I don't mind if there is limited interaction and I don't have to fight crowds. So, I took my time finding the items I needed, then I headed home because the kids were due home. It was early release today, and Snookums and I had already talked about going to a park today. I may have mentioned it last night, I can't remember.

We went back to Fort Flagler. This time Annie decided she wanted to go too, so the whole family went. I was missing Hawaii today, so walking on a soft, sandy beach was exactly what I needed. I held Snookums' hand as we walked along the shore. Kiki collected seaweed and shells, Keenan found cool rocks. Annie stayed near the boat launch and dug a hole. I respect that. She's so much like me, and I remember being very solitary at her age. I wish my mother had been more attentive to what I needed. Since I didn't get that level of understanding I try to offer it to Annie. We did end up meeting back up when we reached the end of the sandy beach and decided to walk out to the spit. She took her beloved Vans off and we walked barefoot through the warm, soft sand. Just chatting. It was great. The two hours we spent at Fort Flagler were exactly why I wish I could recreate this day a thousand times.

Once home, I cooked dinner and we sat down as a family to eat. Also something that just doesn't happen enough. Usually dinner is a hurried affair around the kitchen bar. Or I'm eating alone at 11pm. I enjoy family dinners when we do get to have them. I know that's something that society as a whole struggles with. I don't see it as a stumbling point for us. We would eat together more often if our schedules permitted. If we're all home together, we eat together. It's life that gets in the way.

Snookums initiated sex tonight. Actually, he'd been hinting at it all day. Kind of extended foreplay I suppose. I honestly wasn't feeling into it, but I did it, because I've been harping on him about not taking initiative and he finally did. Why thwart progress? As with most things in my life, once I got into it, it wasn't so bad (of course). More than anything, it definitely fostered an even closer connection between us after the great day we had. I'm torn between mixed ideas. The first being that sex isn't so important. Even if we never had sex again, we still love each other deeply. Nothing can change that. But then on the other side of the token, physical intimacy is vital. It generates a connection that simply living together and sharing life tasks doesn't nurture. It is important. It's worth working for. It's worth prioritizing. It's when you aren't getting it that it feels like such a huge deal. I feel like I have to keep reminding myself that it is a priority. Because one day, I'm so NOT into it. Then it's all I want, but aren't getting. I'm sure the mixed signals I sent Snookums at times don't help the situation!

I'm off again tomorrow! I love having two days off in a row. It's the best! The only thing better is a week off in Hawaii, but that isn't happening anytime soon. But damn, I wish. I should sleep now... It's almost 2am. I need to get myself back on a respectable bedtime. Ugh, being nocturnal...




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