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My Life Thus Far
The Pain is Fickle
*Sigh*, days off take forever to come, but go so fast... I wish I could have more free time. There are so many things I'd love to do, if only my time was my own... The drive it would take for me to make that happen just isn't in me. So, I will continue living as I live, until I feel compelled to do something more. There I go living beneath my intellect and potential again. Damn mental illness...
My back is KILLING me today. I did nothing out of the ordinary. But as I've discovered, it doesn't matter what I do or don't do. My back has a mind of it's own. The pain is fickle. I never even made it hiking today. With pain like I'm in now, I should have. At least I'd have a reason for the suffering. I've been icing it for the past 20 minutes, and I think it might be hurting more (if that's possible). Ironically, a few minutes ago I saw a commercial on tv for a medical center that does laser spinal surgery to treat issues like mine. The procedure takes less than an hour, minimal downtime, and I'd walk out PAIN FREE. The only catch is that I'd need to submit MRI images for assessment so they can determine if I'm a good candidate for the procedure. I still haven't heard from my doctor yet about the insurance company's decision. Although, they've paid for everything thus far. Why wouldn't they pay for this?
We have hummingbirds! Today I was standing in the kitchen. I just happened to be looking out the window when what I thought was a butterfly came to the kitchen window. It wasn't a butterfly, though. It was a beautiful little hummingbird. Snookums came home from school this evening with a feeder and nectar for him. Turns out we have lots of them! Two boys, one with a beautiful red head, and another with a bright pink head. I named them Duke (because the red headed guy is more on the reserved side. Like royalty. He knows he's beautiful), and Pinky (because he's got a pink head! And he's got a light-hearted/fun personality. He was interacting with Zoia and Zephyr through the window). There's two girls as well, but they're both brown and impossible to tell apart. I'm not sure what to name them. It's small things in life like this that I'm slowly starting to be able to appreciate. It feels so good. I'm so thankful for the growth I've made. It wasn't long ago that I wouldn't have given half a shit about some hummingbirds. Today, they brightened my day so much! I love them!
Snookums and I spent some time together. Running errands, and having lunch. Nothing exciting. I wasn't expecting him to want to spend time with me, because he worked last night, but they finished early and he was home a little after midnight. I was expecting him to be there all night. This was why I didn't make it hiking today. Hiking isn't Snookums favorite thing, and it was raining. Even with it raining, had Snookums not been awake, I still would have slipped out and headed for the woods.
I did get to hang out with the kids today, so that was great. Last week was such long days, it felt like I didn't get to spend hardly any time with them. So, just sitting in the living room watching episodes of The Office (like last night), was perfectly lovely. Once again, if my time was my own, I could do that more often. Annie said when she gets older, she wants to write my life story, which would make us both wealthy. Imagine that, my daughter writing my life's story. It's kind of surreal. I feel honored that she thinks so highly of me, but who really wants to read about my life?
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