Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-06-01 06:50:38 (UTC)

Writing By Candlelight

Another great day at work! The paradigm truly has shifted since moving to the new store. It's all the same people (associates), all the same merchandise, even a lot of the same customers. Yet, the surroundings and size of the store has drastically changed the dynamic. It's great. Even if I feel like I've walked a half marathon at the end of my day. Just think of all the exercise I'm getting!

I've had a wonderfully peaceful night. It hasn't been much different than other nights. I guess it's just because I'm alone this evening. Snookums is working inventory. I don't know who's idea it was to inventory the new store the day after it opened, but it's happening. I have no idea when Snookums will be home. If it took until 2 or 3 in the morning before, I don't even want to know when they'll finish now.

But anyway, I'm off and spending a quiet evening by myself. I ate dinner with the babies, then we watched a few episodes of The Office before they went to bed. I sat in the living room petting my cats for awhile, then I came back to the bedroom and ran myself a hot bath (with lots of Dragon's Blood bath salts). I'm still combating some soreness. I lit all of my Woodwick candles, and the ambiance is lovely. They're a warm vanilla scent, paired with my mother earth incense, it's very soothing. I soaked in the tub for about an hour, and now I'm writing by candlelight. I couldn't be more peaceful.

I was actually thinking about this while I was sitting in the tub. I'm getting much better about being nice to myself. My self-care skills are improving. Before, if I did something nice for myself, there was an incessant internal barrage of negativity. I didn't deserve to be treated nicely. I deserved to suffer. At some point you have to take care of your own needs, but I didn't feel worthy somehow. Now, I'm starting to realize that when I take care of myself, I'm in a much better position to care for the people around me. I don't need to run myself into the ground to validate my worth. I'm important. Regardless if I stay late at work without being asked to, or if I leave when I'm scheduled to be off because I'm in pain and need to take care of my hurting back. There's no shame in that. Either way, I'm still valuable. I'm a good worker, and I am taking care of myself so I can continue to do so.

I'm off tomorrow, and I'm really feeling like I want to go hiking. Even with my messed up back, I've decided that my logic on the matter is sound. If I can work a physically demanding retail job, on my feet for 8 or more hours each day, then I can go hiking for pleasure. I can stop to stretch, take breaks, sit down whenever I need to, etc. I can't do that at work. So, I will continue to hike unless told otherwise. I haven't decided where I want to go, but I was thinking maybe just the tree farm in Bremerton. We never did explore all those trails, and it's close to home. We'll see. Knowing me, I could end up doing something totally different.

I stopped at Trader Joe's to get more smoothie fruit, and decided that I need the fixings for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Of course it needs to be healthy, vegan, and gluten free. So, I found bread that fits the bill. My chia flax peanut butter is perfect, and I have some organic Oregon marionberry jam in the fridge. I'm good to go! So, tonight I'll be having my pb&j, maybe watch some Criminal Minds (if it's on), and then go to sleep. I get to sleep in tomorrow, yay!




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