Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
Why the Detachment?
All day I kept waiting for the onslaught of emotions to hit... they never came. I thought I would be a wreck today, and yet I wasn't. Which was surprising for me. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'm a highly emotional being. I feel things intensely. Deeper than I would like to most of the time. I fully expected to cry today. Part of me thinks my ambivalence about it is because I've been waiting for this new store since pretty much the day I started (I was told when I was hired that there'd be a remodel soon. It just never came). On the other hand, it could be because I've been having pervasive feelings of discontent and detachment. I'm not as invested as I used to be. Even though I technically am. And I'm even more dependent upon my job than at any other time in the history of my employment with the company. I need my paycheck. I need my health insurance. I have a retirement plan. By all intents and purposes I am deeply invested. Why the detachment?
Snookums and I tried to have sex tonight. We tried for about 40 minutes to get the other aroused, but it just wasn't working. The funny thing is, I wasn't even frustrated about it. Normally I would be. I chalked it up to nervous energy. Tomorrow is a big day. The supply truck for the new store is coming, and it's day one of the big move. A new chapter in my life. The beginning of a major decision for me. Should I stay, or should I go? For Snookums it's the first day of his new job (however short-lived it may be). That's always a cause for butterflies. I know we'll both struggle to sleep tonight.
On a subject not related to work, I stumbled upon a very interesting article online yesterday about blood type diets. Eating specific foods based on your blood type. It relates back to the type of lifestyle the early humans had and how their bodies adapted to that lifestyle. Apparently my early ancestors were agriculturalists and thrived on a heavily plant-based diet. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, grains, and other cultivated plant foods. I'm supposed to be vegetarian! Not just vegetarian, but also vegan and wheat free. No dairy, and no wheat because type A's don't make the enzyme needed to break down gluten or most any animal products. I find it serendipitous that I came across this information, and I've intuitively stumbled my way into the perfect lifestyle for my body. It's been years of trial and error. Basically a process of elimination that's gotten me to this point. Then I read an article (several now), that validates what I feel holistically drawn to. I haven't experienced any cravings for meat or dairy. I never experience gluten cravings either. It's been almost 5 years gluten free, and I'm confident that I'm going to continue with veganism. I feel so great physically (minus my stupid back). The only disheartening thing I've read about my blood type diet, is that bananas and coconut are contraindicated. Bananas and coconut oil in particular are two things I just won't give up. I refuse. So, if they're the worst things I consume, so be it. I'm doing everything else right.
I really need to try to get to sleep. Ugh...
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