ItsJstMe

Jst My World
2015-05-23 11:52:13 (UTC)

Confused..who even am i?

Honestly Life is confusing to me..I have always heard people say if u do good to people good things happen to u but i dont see anything like this happening to me..For startres how r u supposed to feel positive and happy when u cant find any reason to..Being sad is nt the problem nt finding whats making me sad is the problem..i m overloaded with expectations and it feels awful seeing people sad becoz of me..bt how can i fulfil all the expectations..sometimes i think i m purposely made to suffer things bt i know its nt true..bt that does change anything does it i m still that person who spreads the negativity all around..sometimes its easy to pretend that u dont care abt what people think abut u..bt i do...and i dont feel bad admitting it...last night my friends were in the middle of a huge fight..and i wanted to clear things out between them...bt all i gt in return was hearing the words that i cannot make anything better i m jst igniting things and hurting everyone..am i this person? this is hw my friends think i m..and what was my fault..helping or caring abut people..i have been called heartless and it hurts..i have thousands of reasons to be grateful but i cant bring myself to do that..i cant feel grateful...
I sometimes come to a point where i think its better to go invisible than face this..it's better to die.. its hurts a lot..and i want to be happy..i want to feel positive..i want to be strong and i want to make myself feel good abut me...bt its nt easy..ya i m insecure..i compare myself to other people...i m even hypocrite at time..bt the point is i need to get out of it..i need to feel gud...i have my exams in a week..its important..its my dream scul bt i cant feel excited..i cant feel prepared..i cant feel anything ...i m jst scared..i dont even know how to chnage this..what even am i supposed to do...who even am i? who is this person? it feels like i dont even know myself..i dont want to end on a bad note..so i hope things get bettr fast,..and i can smile truely..
Until the next time
Goodbye




Ad: