Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-05-08 07:05:44 (UTC)

Presidential OG Kush

The start of my day didn't bode well for an overall good day. Nothing bad happened, but when I woke up this morning I had a really hard time thinking of anything worth getting out of bed for. This is a hard concept to explain if you've never suffered from even the slightest of depressions. Every day, I need something to entice me out of bed. Most days it's work, or the kids, off days I usually resort to hiking or some other fun diversion. Occasionally it's a doctor's appt. or therapy. I had nothing planned for today, and Snookums had a school thing to go to. So I just laid in bed until 2pm, watching Criminal Minds, and playing Candy Crush (on another note, I've discovered a connection between Candy Crush and depressive episodes. I only play that damn game when I need an escape from real life). My sweet husband knows just what I need, though. He came home from his school thing, seeing that I was still in bed, offered me Pho and a hike. Done, I was dressed and out the door in 15 minutes!

After Pho, we stopped at Wal-mart for a Discover Pass (I didn't go in, because I'm morally opposed to all Wal-mart stands for, but this was the only local place that sells Discover Passes). A Discover Pass is required to use any of the State Parks. It's $30/yr, and the money goes towards park maintenance. It's worth it. It would be nice if more places sold them, though. Sometimes they sell out, especially during the summer months. I always forget to get it early in the year. Anyhow, we went home to collect the children, then headed up to Anderson Lake (the park I tried to hike on Tuesday).

The kids LOVED Anderson Lake! Nothing makes me quite as happy as seeing them so happy. We had such a great time. The trails around Anderson Lake are perfect for kids. Not too steep, lots of wildlife, plenty of changes of scenery (we walked through old growth, new growth, swamp land, prairie, and lakeside trails). The kids got to see an ant hill the size of a Buick, and blue green algae blooms on the lake (yes, the lake was closed to swimming, and fishing). It was everything they love in a hike, and I got to be outside in nature. My happy cup runneth over, for sure.

By the time we finished our hike, it was only 6:45pm, so on a whim we decided to head up to Fort Worden to watch the sunset on the beach. I still have a strange connection to that place. Only now, the more I go there, the more attached I'm starting to feel. Like, on a subconscious level, the universe is trying to tell me this is my happy place, even if I don't think it is. I'm not opposed, other than the fact that I know come summer it's going to be insanely crowded and less than peaceful. It's got the best white sand beaches I know of in the area.

It was very easy getting the kids to sleep after all the activity. Once they were down, I took a two hour Epsom salt bath. Not because I'm sore, but because it just felt damn good. Which brings me to now. It's after midnight, but I don't have to be up early in the morning. I'm contemplating trying my new Juju Joint. It's pure cannabis oil, instead of the regular Juju, which apparently is cut with propylene glycol. It isn't supposed to be harmful, but while at the dispensary, the guy appealed to my natural side and upsold me on the pure cannabis oil (it was only $5 more). It's Presidential OG Kush. Apparently some really good stuff. What would I know? I just know it gets me out of my own head long enough to fall asleep. Insomnia is less and less of a problem. I'm thankful, and slightly ashamed at the same time...

My body is changing. For the first time in my adult life, I'm not trying to lose weight, but I think it's happening. I don't weigh myself, but things are looking and feeling... different. It's to be expected when you wholeheartedly embrace a plant-based lifestyle. I just don't know how I feel about it. I hope no one thinks I did this to become skinny. Fuck skinny. I eat lots. I eat as often as I want, whatever I want (within vegan guidelines, of course), whenever I want. I bake treats, drink a huge ass caramel macchiato pretty much daily. I'm not trying to be thin. Like, at all. But I'm not opposed to being a little healthier. A lower BMI is inevitable. I just need to stay focused on making sure I'm getting all of the nutrients I need. I'm kind of excited for my hematology check up in June. I know all of my levels will be checked then, and I will have been vegan for 3 solid months by that point. I'm expecting stellar numbers. Nothing less. And no more infusions!




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