Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-04-24 09:42:53 (UTC)

My "Normal"

So, just like my flight there, I also wrote during the flight home. I'll post that first, and then fill in the rest.

**I'm on another plane. This time on my way home. I'm currently in a slightly irritated mood. I understand that Hawaiians are on island time, but holy shit. Gen dropped me off at the airport at 11:30ish, my flight was at 1:10pm. Based on how quickly and easily I made it to my gate in Seattle, I was kind of expecting the same thing today. Maybe not 17 minutes quick, but Hawaii is an international destination. I expected it to be a little more organized than it was. Everywhere I went was packed. There's huge lines to check in (even electronically). There's a line for agricultural inspection and to drop off your checked luggage. There's a HUGE line to get through security (so long, it was routed outside the door, onto the sidewalk for drop off). There was a second agricultural checkpoint, and once through that THEN you have access to gates.

I stood in an unmoving security line for about 45 minutes. I wouldn't have minded that the line was long, if it had actually been moving. I was starting to panic. Then, a TSA worker came through the line and started picking out Seattle passengers, rerouting them through the first class/premier security checkpoint. When she got to me I held up my boarding pass and said very clearly THREE TIMES "I'm going to Seattle". She walked right past me! I almost started to cry, I was already on edge because EVERYTHING was taking so long, and she basically made me feel invisible, but a very kind man behind me stopped her and said "this young lady is going to Seattle" and she (for some reason) heard him just fine. Whatever. I made it through security. By the time I made it through the second agricultural checkpoint, I had 30 minutes until my flight was leaving. My flight was leaving from gate 34. By the time I reached gate 6, they were calling boarding. So, I started jogging. By the time I got to gate 24, they were calling final boarding. I panicked! So, I go from jog to full run. Mind you, I'm wearing flip flops, and an Aloha themed, deep plunging Hawaiian maxi dress. Boobs are flying everywhere, but I'm not missing this flight! I get to the gate 10 minutes before departure. Thank goodness they were aware of the hold up at security. I wasn't the only one boarding late. The kicker to the whole situation was... wait for it... we were delayed on the tarmac for 25 minutes. So. Lame. The captain says even with the delay we'll still arrive in Seattle ahead of schedule. Around 9:38pm, scheduled arrival is 9:50pm... Also, there's a screaming baby behind me. I don't mind, but I'm feeling great compassion for the mom. She seems flustered. I hope baby sleeps for her.

I'm really looking forward to seeing my family. I've had a great time in Hawaii. Definitely better than I'd anticipated. I don't want to leave Gen, I had fun hanging out with Selena, I enjoyed my alone time, but I want more than anything to bury my face in Snookums' chest and fall asleep to his heartbeat. I want to kiss Keeny's little button nose, and touch his curls (he only lets me do that). I want to hug my girls, listen to one of Kiki's stories, and sit at the kitchen counter and talk with Annie about life (what I missed this past week, gossip, you know). I'm ready for my "normal". I'm definitely going to use this trip as a factory reset of sorts. I'm going to approach life differently. Not much differently, because I have implemented some positive changes over the past few months, but I can do more and better. I understand why my therapist wanted me to do this. Honestly, I'm thinking of maybe making this an annual thing. Perhaps not Hawaii, but some sort of solitary retreat to myself. I'm never going to fully appreciate everything I have, if I never have an opportunity to miss it.

Baby is asleep now(I'm on another plane. This time on my way home. I'm currently in a slightly irritated mood. I understand that Hawaiians are on island time, but holy shit. Gen dropped me off at the airport at 11:30ish, my flight was at 1:10pm. Based on how quickly and easily I made it to my gate in Seattle, I was kind of expecting the same thing today. Maybe not 17 minutes quick, but Hawaii is an international destination. I expected it to be a little more organized than it was. Everywhere I went was packed. There's huge lines to check in (even electronically). There's a line for agricultural inspection and to drop off your checked luggage. There's a HUGE line to get through security (so long, it was routed outside the door, onto the sidewalk for drop off). There was a second agricultural checkpoint, and once through that THEN you have access to gates.

I stood in an unmoving security line for about 45 minutes. I wouldn't have minded that the line was long, if it had actually been moving. I was starting to panic. Then, a TSA worker came through the line and started picking out Seattle passengers, rerouting them through the first class/premier security checkpoint. When she got to me I held up my boarding pass and said very clearly THREE TIMES "I'm going to Seattle". She walked right past me! I almost started to cry, I was already on edge because EVERYTHING was taking so long, and she basically made me feel invisible, but a very kind man behind me stopped her and said "this young lady is going to Seattle" and she (for some reason) heard him just fine. Whatever. I made it through security. By the time I made it through the second agricultural checkpoint, I had 30 minutes until my flight was leaving. My flight was leaving from gate 34. By the time I reached gate 6, they were calling boarding. So, I started jogging. By the time I got to gate 24, they were calling final boarding. I panicked! So, I go from jog to full run. Mind you, I'm wearing flip flops, and an Aloha themed, deep plunging Hawaiian maxi dress. Boobs are flying everywhere, but I'm not missing this flight! I get to the gate 10 minutes before departure. Thank goodness they were aware of the hold up at security. I wasn't the only one boarding late. The kicker to the whole situation was... wait for it... we were delayed on the tarmac for 25 minutes. So. Lame. The captain says even with the delay we'll still arrive in Seattle ahead of schedule. Around 9:38pm, scheduled arrival is 9:50pm... Also, there's a screaming baby behind me. I don't mind, but I'm feeling great compassion for the mom. She seems flustered. I hope baby sleeps for her.

I'm really looking forward to seeing my family. I've had a great time in Hawaii. Definitely better than I'd anticipated. I don't want to leave Gen, I had fun hanging out with Selena, I enjoyed my alone time, but I want more than anything to bury my face in Snookums' chest and fall asleep to his heartbeat. I want to kiss Keeny's little button nose, and touch his curls (he only lets me do that). I want to hug my girls, listen to one of Kiki's stories, and sit at the kitchen counter and talk with Annie about life (what I missed this past week, gossip, you know). I'm ready for my "normal". I'm definitely going to use this trip as a factory reset of sorts. I'm going to approach life differently. Not much differently, because I have implemented some positive changes over the past few months, but I can do more and better. I understand why my therapist wanted me to do this. Honestly, I'm thinking of maybe making this an annual thing. Perhaps not Hawaii, but some sort of solitary retreat to myself. I'm never going to fully appreciate everything I have, if I never have an opportunity to miss it.

Baby is asleep now**

Let's pick up where I left off: The rest of the flight was uneventful. Actually quite enjoyable. Soon after I finished writing, they served dinner. I had furikake rice with steamed vegetables, green salad, and a glass of white wine (this trip has taught me that I can drink without getting totally tanked). I got the slightest little buzz, but that's it. The non vegetarian meal had some kind of chicken too. It smelled good. I can appreciate that, but the desire to eat it just wasn't there. I wonder if/when that will happen. I keep waiting for it.

We arrived in Seattle on schedule. Even though the thought crossed my mind when I got on the plane (because of all the problems I had at Honolulu International), I really wasn't expecting what happened next. I get off the plane, take the train to baggage claim (where I met Snookums, yay!), and as I'm standing there waiting with him, telling him about the fiasco in Honolulu, it occurs to me that none of my other plane mates are still standing at the carousel. They've all retrieved their bags and left. There's just two lonely bags going round and around. Neither of which are mine. So, I walk all around the carousel. Nothing. We go to lost baggage. Not there. We check oversized baggage. Nope. It's nowhere to be found. Out of all of the people on that flight, I'm the ONE person who's bag gets lost. That was it, I couldn't take it. I broke down. Not just tears, but full on toddler tantrum. I was very upset. I can't help but feel like the universe is always out to get me. I'm always fighting a current. Some people go their entire life without the kind of shit happening to them that happens to me on a fairly regular basis. The whole point of this trip was to help ease the constant stress I'm always under. The second I set foot back into my real world, the fuckery commences. I'm doing slightly better now, but I'm still fuming. Tomorrow I will sit down and itemize every single thing in that bag. Down to the last pair of panties. If they don't find my bag, I'm getting every penny coming to me. I already checked their website. They have a claim limit of $3,400. It wasn't that much, but it's easily pushing $2,000 for sure. I had some big ticket items in there. My hiking boots alone were $200. One Victoria's Secret bra is $50 on it's own. If they don't find my bag, they will pay. Of course, that doesn't replace the stuff I can't rebuy. I can't go back and redo my vacation and buy new souvenirs. A few of my friends have had luggage lost before, and have had it returned the next day. So, I'm holding out some teeny bit of hope. But things like this generally don't work in my favor.

I'm trying very hard not to feel like my vacation has been negated. That all the effort I put into being zen and mindful is shot to hell in one day. Coming home has been great otherwise, though. I'm holding onto that. Snookums had the house all clean, he'd bought me food (Central Market saffron rice and sautéed vegetables), clean sheets on the bed. Bliss. I took a hot shower, and Snookums rubbed coconut oil on my sunburn. He attempted to do "that thing I like", but I couldn't concentrate enough to come. Yet, he continued to try. Eventually I did. I marvel at his tenacity sometimes. His desire to please me is so strong.

I'm done for today. Literally and figuratively. I'm also done writing about today. The airline is supposed to be calling first thing with an update on my bag between 6am-11am. I need to be up for that. Goodnight.




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