Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
I Said "NO"
I did something this morning that's very hard for me to do. Something I've struggled with my entire life. Something that is a constant source of pain and suffering in my life. I said "NO". As I was getting ready to leave for the gym, I get a phone call from work. Someone called out and they wanted me to come in at noon (at this point it was already 11:15am) and stay until 8pm. As much as I always want to help others, and I hate to disappoint, I simply did not want to come in early, miss my gym time, and stay late. Nope. So I said that. I didn't flat out refuse. I asked that they ask someone else (there are plenty of girls who would love the hours), and if no one would or could, then I would stay later. They found someone, though. And the world didn't end.
I stopped in Target this evening and while I was in the greeting card section, I found the nicest thing. It was an envelope that had "A Gift For You" written on the outside. It had something lumpy in it, so I opened it. Inside was a handwritten card, and a small smooth stone. The outside of the card said "This stone is part of something bigger, and you are part of something bigger". The inside of the card said "When you need to remember this, touch this stone". I put the card and stone back in the envelope and placed it back on the shelf. I left it in the hopes that someone else who really needs the message will find it, and be helped.
My bathing suit came today!! It was waiting for me when I got home. I ordered a 36G, which apparently was UK sizing. It says it's a 36DDDDDD/I in US sizing. I've never heard of a 36DDDDDD. I have a hard time believing that's even a real size! Anyhow, it's a little big in the cup (crazy, not something I'm used to experiencing), but fits nice and snug around, and the cut is just perfect. The bottom is a little big, but I don't mind full booty coverage. This is my first bikini. I'm not even the least bit upset about the way I look in it. Actually, I felt pretty damn good! I love that I finally have self-love and confidence when it comes to my appearance. I may not be skinny, but there's nothing wrong with me, or my body. It gave me three beautiful babies.
My trip is starting to feel real. I leave in two days... this is insane to me. It seems like it was just days ago that it was over a month away. I'm still super nervous about it, still not excited. But it's definitely feeling real. So real. After work tomorrow, I need to start packing. I haven't even started doing that. Ugh... I feel like there's still stuff I need to buy. Perhaps some shopping is in order for tomorrow?
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