Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2015-04-10 06:37:43 (UTC)

Unfortunate Bullshit

I am so profoundly disappointed in how my day turned out. I woke up feeling so good. Yesterday was a great day. I didn't have any nightmares. I slept well. All that positivity flowed right into the new day. I got to sleep in, wake up slowly, and spend some quality time with my sweet husband... and then it started. Literally. In the middle of sex, my period started. I don't like period sex. It's sticky, too slippery, and it gets all over the sheets. So, that was a no go. We didn't finish.

I don't know how we got on the subject. Therapy is usually mundane bullshit about work or home life. Today my therapist dug into the deep, painful shit from my childhood. It all started when I told her I wasn't excited about going to Hawaii. It's been my experience in life that it's best to not get excited about things until they are a sure thing. I've been disappointed so much and have had things taken from me so often that my defenses are always on high alert. I might get excited once I'm on the plane... and then the plane will break down or worse, crash. That's how my life works.

So, after therapy, I decided to get some of my trip shopping done (fun, right? Nope). It started out well enough. I went to Ross and got a really great deal on a giant red Samsonite suitcase. It's fancy-looking, with lots of pockets. I also got a few new tops and a really pretty boho dress. Then I started the hard part. Bathing suit shopping. I never swim. Washington water is too cold for me, and I hate chlorine. So, I don't have one. I intend to do some serious beach bumming, so it's needed. Unfortunately, finding a suit in my bra size is damn near impossible. My only options are the granny skirted suits. I may be thick, but if I'm comfortable enough to wear a bikini I should be able to find one. Nope. Everything I tried was either too big, too small, or too big and too small at the same time. I cried. I won't lie. I got very frustrated.

I ended up giving up and came home. We took the kids out for Pho for dinner and on the way home I hit an animal on the highway. Probably a raccoon. I didn't see it until it was too late. I don't even feel bad about out it. Idiot raccoon. Who runs out in front of a car with headlights AND fog lights on? Natural selection at work. Of course now my 3 month old car has front end damage. Once again, I cried. I have wanted this car for years. I love this car. I drove the Impala for 10 years. Commuted 80 miles one way through the Olympic National Forest for a year when we lived in Port Angeles and never hit an animal. But tonight in my brand new car, not even 5 minutes from home, I hit a stupid fucking raccoon. Vegan or not, fuck that raccoon! I know it will be fixed. I know everything will be okay. My car will be fixed. I'm still upset.

Then, when I was trying to get ready for bed, the drawer holding my pajamas fell out of the dresser, crashed onto the floor and broke into 4 pieces. Really. I'm officially cursed. I feel like a disproportionate amount of unfortunate shit happens to me. Yes, I am blessed. I have a mostly good life. But why so much bullshit? Is it so I will appreciate the good in my life? I appreciate it! Can I please catch a damn break?

On a final parting positive note, Snookums ordered me a bathing suit on Amazon in 36G. Fingers crossed it gets here on time, and fits!




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